The Ham

There once was a ham who ruled the land,

whose personality was anything but bland.

Her methods of travel were rather funky,

scooting around kept her thighs chunky. 

She was always friendly when dishing out a kiss,

No dinosaur or pterodactyl was ever missed. 

She loved to lounge in comfy clothes,

but didn't always enjoy her little hair bows.

Although she was very petite in size,

her poops gave her diapers easy demise. 

She could dance, she could pose in every way,

she won every heart over with her goofy sway. 

When one takes a closer look at this ham,

its clear she's the loveliest blue-eyed madame.

Her hair is curly, wispy, and crazy,

her mom would do it, but she's too lazy.

She likes to entertain and be entertained,

or take a walk down "marker lane."

She'll pick them up and throw them down,

then move on and scoot around.

She loves the stairs, she feels like a queen,

her smile is the cutest you've ever seen.

She enjoys technology, but prefers old school,

her mama's flip phone makes her feel cool. 

Who is calling? Who could it be?

One of her fans, ringing with glee.

"Hello, its me, I'm the Queen Bee.

Thanks for calling, but I'm busy."

Too busy to talk because she's got to play,

got to make a mess and get on her way.

While making messes, she's always a ham,

making us laugh while still being glam.

She dresses her best every day,

mom tries to take credit, but its okay.  

She loves Grandpa's garden and being outside,

she's easy going and along for the ride.

And we can't forget those glorious cheeks,

mom's been eating them for dessert for many weeks. 

She pretends not to love the camera and pics,

but she eats it up, she's the daughter of Snick!

She loves string beans, cheese, and fruit,

I guess that explains her horrendous toots.

A lover of water, but only with ice,

she thinks drinking from a straw is oh-so-nice.

Its clear our ham has quite the quirks,

her parents certainly love all her perks. 

She's the sweetest girl we could ever love,

she fits in our family like a glove.

So here's to you our little ham,

having you has been a grand slam!