Monday, December 13, 2010

Eat Your Feelings

I've settled on a nursery theme.
And its delicious.
It's going to be a french dessert theme. I figured it would complement our baby's luscious chubby thighs. I don't want too much pink, so I'm leaning towards a multi-colored macaroon/cupcake/pastry theme.
Plus, its important to instill values in your children before they even exit the womb. So I've been eating lots of pastries in hopes that it will wet her appetite for french refinery once she's here. Imagine waking up to a room covered in all things a la france... you'd be a happy baby too.
Plus I have to start the brainwashing early on, if I want my daughter to study abroad in France so I have an excuse to go visit her, I need her to think SHE came up with the whole thing.
Nick can thank me later for the genius that I am.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Tragedy of the Fungus

Herein lies the greatest tragedy ever told,
About a close cousin of the nastiest mold.
The mold’s cousin named fungus was especially vile,
For it lived on the head of an unfortunate child.

The child’s mother claimed it was trendy and all worthwhile,
But seven years passed and the child hardly smiled.
She endured the worst and then endured more,
For having bad hair is the ugliest chore.

Her siblings made fun of their sister the mushroom,
But secretly hoped that someday she would bloom.
Bloom she did not, but eventually the girl’s hair grew,
Proving once and for all what everyone knew.

That this tragic story could simply not be farce,
Dramatic, but true? You bet your arse.


Friday, December 3, 2010

Fat Weeks Pregnant

It's all downhill from here. I am 20 and a half weeks pregnant and guess what?

I just look fat. Isn't that awesome?

I am so jealous of all those cute pregnant ladies who can post darling pictures of their "baby bump." I don't quite have a bump, but I've definitely got some lumps - fat lumps that is. I feel like my hard work should be paying off. Day and night I work constantly and what do I have to show?
36 ding-dongs, several fried chicken legs, and a large pepperoni pizza attached to my gut.
Like I said, I am awesome.
Poor Nick, his wife is going to give birth to a giant assortment of pastries and fried foods instead of a sweet baby girl.
Don't believe me?

That said, feeling our little beignet kicking all day long is totally worth it. When Nick asks what it feels like, I usually resort to quoting one my favorite movies, Baby Mama, "It feels like if you ate a meatball sandwich, and that meatball sandwich is kicking you."

We had our 20 week ultrasound a couple of days ago. The tech said everything looks great - 2 arms, 2 legs, a working bladder, four pumping heart chambers, strong spinal cord, AND some huge fatty thighs. I can already tell I've done my part in transferring at least a small, or I guess a large portion of my DNA to our snickerdoodle. She's definitely part-Smart, with the thighs to prove it.

If you're still reading, here is a picture of my parents over Thanksgiving break. They came to celebrate Grandma Phyl's 80th birthday. The party was super Smarty and just a blasty-blast all-around.
A total Betty and a total Baldwin:

Everyone with Phyl

We also went to Temple Square to see the lights. Darel hadn't seen them since my stretch pants phase and Chelsea's polka dot sweatshirt and side-pony phase. Lets just say, it had been a while since Lil' D had experienced the majesty of Temple Square.

Phyl, the Betty, and the Baldwin

BCF (Best Cousins Forever)

We are also moving to Yakima in TWO WEEKS. By the looks of our house, you would think we planned on staying in Utah forever.
I haven't packed one thing. Seriously, nothing.
I'm hoping Dobby the House Elf will magically show up to not only to clean and pack my house, but to tell me that they lost my Hogwarts acceptance letter 12 years ago and they would like me to resume my witch's training post-holidays.
Not even my wannabe pregnant gut could get me down after news like that.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Quiz Yourself

Today, let us see how smart you really are. Please allow yourself to answer honestly the following question.

True or False: Pregnancy messes with brain function.

Since some of you are in denial or have biases of which will never be changed let me enlighten my point of view with some specific instances from recent weeks.


Nick: "So I had to write a lame mock blog post in class today about BP's current situation and how people are reacting to it."

Syd: "Do you know anything about BP? You have only been in there with me and I doubt you were paying attention."

Nick: "What in the world are you talking about hun?"

Syd: "BP, the section in Nordstrom."

Nick: "You are joking, right?"

Syd: "What other BP is there?"

Nick: "This conversation should probably just end here."

Syd: "No, please tell me. Is there a more popular BP?"

Nick: "To most of the world, yes. To you, nope."

Syd: "Oh, okay. Well, I will just keep my mindset of what BP is. It is probably better for both of us."

Nick: "Good plan."


Twenty minutes later we are returning home from class and Syd graciously offers to make breakfast. Eggs and toast are on the menu and I hear her begin to crack eggs. A few seconds later a long groan follows. I ask her if she is alright. Silence. I walk over to the sink. Shells and yolk are swimming in the basin. Lesson learned...a bowl is needed to catch the eggs before they slide down the drain.

As all you know, Syd is the most detailed oriented person when it comes to subjects such as crafts, school and weddings. Somehow, pregnancy has affected this slightly. It is not often that Syd lapses common sense or judgment, that is usually my daily failure.

So there it is, pregnancy does mess with brain function.

Seriously though, you should all know I love my wife with all my heart and she is already making a fantastic mom. It's an innate talent for her and our girl is very blessed to have such a smart, good looking, humorous, talented, good looking, loving and good looking mother.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Portland Zoo

We celebrated my birthday in Portland, hanging with the cutest animals in town - Cole, Keith and little Ally

The boys were awesome to help me blow out my candles. (A recent obsession of theirs it seems)

Apparently the closer you get to the flame, the easier it is to squish out the birthday girl - I thought it was pretty hilarious.

Going in for the kill about 1.2 seconds after the candles were blown out.

The three Amigos/Gangsters

Little Ally in the tub.

The Boys "swimming" in the tub.

Before church on Sunday. Ally's hair now fits in short little pigtails, which I'm pretty sure were invented for adorable girls like her. She wears them well, don't you think?

C & K, looking handsome as usual.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Under Pressure

Snick recently returned from the Portland Zoo. Spending a weekend there was beyond the best birthday present ever. I plan on elaborating about our trip and my birthday in a later post, but for now I'd like to share something that has been weighing heavily on mind since our departure from Portland.

I'm feeling the pressure.

Big Time.

Here is picture of Ally's mom for good measure.

I would have included pictures of Cole and Keith, but then I would have to cry myself to sleep thinking about how much our future boys have to live up to. Life is hard when you've got beautiful cousins.

I am turning up the heat on our little girl, Grandma She-She and Grandpa Puffy have unbelievably high expectations.

PS We took a LOT of pictures this weekend. If you're into chubby cheeks and lovable faces - stay tuned.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


According to the ultrasound we had this afternoon, we're having...


(Hopefully our little girl's head is not as large or as creepy as this child. Sorry for the weird graphic, but I totally felt that this post needed one)

Here she is:

Sorry for the sub-par scan job, but its the best I can do.
My first stop after work today = Baby Gap.
The ultrasound tech created a monster today when she told me it was a girl. How am I supposed to NOT shop for this child?

PS, based on the photos, our child is already TOTALLY CUTE. You might think that's my bias opinion, but look again - our baby is perfect!

The Happy Parents

Sunday, November 7, 2010


I love November. It rivals December for the greatest month of the year award. This November is no exception. Its been busy and I know its only going to get crazier - Bring it On!
This weekend was particularly eventful.

Exhibit A

Spa Night. Who says you have to go out to have a date? Snick knows how to party no matter where the party is at. While it may look like Snick got two brow lifts, two nose jobs, cheek implants, and chin reconstruction this weekend, I assure you it was just several biore strips. Haven't you ALWAYS wondered if those things really work? You know, the gorgeous teen on tv with virtually NO BLACKHEADS puts a biore strip on her nose and voila! She's got a blackhead farm on her leftover biore strip!
Well, we decided to test the integrity of the biore strip during our spa night.

The Verdict: Biore strips are legit! They totally work. Except I'm still wondering how no-blackhead girl had so many more on her strip than I did, but whatever. And my apologies for the lack of happy faces in the picture. You literally CANNOT move your face with those things on. Its like paper mache on your face! But I promise we really did have fun as we de-blackheaded our faces and watched several episodes of 30 Rock. Married life is just grand, if I do say so myself.

In slightly less disturbing and personal news, we were able to attend a baby blessing today. Our dear friends the Tranes, blessed their baby Austin this morning and it was wonderful! Can't wait for it to be our baby! But seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I was so emotional during the whole thing. I'll blame the pregnancy hormones, but in all reality, I think I just love babies. They are so precious.

Here we are with the Tranes and the Ellingsons (other dear friends). Please ignore my fat face and skin tight skirt. Nothing fits me right now. Pretty sure I had to crisco my rear end to get it into my skirt this morning. Oh, and that was after Nick ripped off two finger nails trying to zip up my skirt.

Speaking of precious babies. We find out on Tuesday if we are having a boy or girl. I'm so excited that even typing that practically gave me an anxiety attack. (In a good way, I promise). But seriously, I can't wait to know the gender of our snickerdoodle - it will make my online browsing much more efficient. Luckily, as my Dad has kindly pointed out ohhhhhh... probably 40 times, Darrell makes a good name for a boy or a girl, so either way we already have a name! ....

In other precious baby news, Snick is flying to Portland for female Snick's birthday on Wednesday. I can't wait to squeeze Cole, Keith, and little Ally. I know they are probably counting down the days until they get to see me too. Grandma She-She, Puffy, and D-Licious will also be in attendance - you do the math. Wednesday = Pure Awesomeness.

This week is a big one for us. See you on Tuesday for a Snickerdoodle update.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Keeping up with the REAL Kardashians

Some of you may have heard of the hit reality TV Show, Keeping up with the Kardashians.
The hip, hot, and totally outrageous family is actually based on the lives of the Smart family, who wished to remain anonymous despite their immense popularity and ridiculously amazing genes. Allow me to demonstrate:

Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner: THE PARENTS

Bruce Jenner is a former Olympian who is famous not only for his good looks but his macho athletic skills. Bruce loves his daughters and enjoys joking around with Kris whenever he gets a chance.

Kris is a total Betty (obviously) and her daughters thank her everyday for contributing such fabulous genes to their family pool. Kris is always trying to help out her kids and is famous for her hilarious one-liners.

Kourtney Kardashian: THE OLDEST SISTER

Kourt is the shortest of all her sisters, but as the oldest, she often has to rein in her younger sibs. She is the only Kardashian with children and she is totally the best mom ever.

Kim Kardashian: THE HOTTIE

Kim is the most popular of all the Kardashians - in fact, the show is mostly about her. She is a workaholic, but loves her job, and many say that she is destined for success here in the states and abroad. Oh, and she's totally popular.

Khloe Kardashian: THE MIDDLE SISTER

Khloe is the most inappropriate Kardashian sister, always making jokes in awkward situations and she often enjoys pestering her sibs. She recently got married to Lamar Odom, who is much taller than her.

Rob Kardashian: THE BROTHER

Poor Rob. He is the only Kardashian boy and his life has been one of constant torment, thanks to his sisters. He's totally gorgeous and often dates girls that annoy his sisters, just because he can.

Kendall Jenner: THE BABY SISTER

Kendall is sporty, and often wears scrubs around the Kardashian house all day. She loves when her older sibs come to visit so she's not always stuck with Kris and Bruce.


The youngest of all the Kardashians. Kylie's best friend is Kendall - you rarely see them without one another.

Is it simply a coincidence that the Kardashians want to be just like the Smart family?
I don't think so.