Monday, April 28, 2014

Woodburn Tulip Festival

So my cousin's wife put up pictures of their family at the Woodburn Tulip Festival and thirty seconds later I was like, "NICK WE HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW."
So a few days later we drove up with the kiddos. It was the perfect day. Warm, sunny and not at all like a typical Oregonian gloomsfest. Plus the scenery was just gorgeous. 

I feel like I have a special appreciation for flora and fauna since I was raised by Petunia Boy. I have this very vivid childhood memory of hiking with my Dad and listening to him talk about fungi for LITERALLY forty-five minutes. I remembered thinking, 'I should remember what he said about poisonous mushrooms,' and then forgetting five minutes later when he started his segment of how Native Americans used mushrooms in battle. 

So I can't remember much about poisonous fungi, but I do remember that my Dad receives copious gifts each year from various bulb distributors thinking he's an actual nursery. I mean who buys 3,000 tulip bulbs? I guess Darrell Smart is a weird name for a nursery, but that didn't stop the bulb peeps from raining down some serious goods on the Petunia Boy. 

Anyway, we had a great time.

Nick was obviously in charge of the camera.
(As if the twenty awkward candid shots of me pushing the stroller didn't give it away)

You could even see Mt. Hood!

So they had these cheesy cow train rides for $2. It was poorly organized and basically the train pulls up and 15 kids rush to get their "favorite" cow, even though they all look the same. 
Well lo and behold, Ev pushes some 8 year old kid out of the way for this cow:

Yeah, you read that right. Her cow's name was BOSSY.

Aaaaaaand I'm done believing in coincidences.

Ev kept telling me we were on the 'cow roller coaster.'

Oh, and my cow was Fred.
Am I the Born Loser or what?

I remember before I had kids I used to think, "What idiot parent would actually waste five dollars for their kid to ride a diseased ancient pony?

The answer?
Every. Single. Time.

I'm a pushover. I can't say no to a pony ride! 

Hey crusty face.


Saturday, April 26, 2014

Three-Year Pics and Word Vomit (the Cute Kind)

I took some (obviously) non-professional photos of Ev for her birthday.
I don't know how to edit, but I tried to shoot not using auto (for the most part) and I'm happy with how they turned out. I would like to say its easy when you have adorable models, but we all know that's not true. Ev knows how to make a gnarly crazy eye, but you know what? I love me some Ev crazy eye and she really is a beautiful little girl, so of course, I (her mother) think they are grandiose. I had to bribe her with skittles and I'm going to be honest, my neighbor Esther took most of them and provided all the props, but I endured nine horrendous months of heartburn for this sassy minx so I deserve to take some credit. 

And the lighting is horrible, but it was the only time of day that I was able to get my act together to get these done and like I said, I still love them.

Also included in this post are some additional words of hilarity that have come out of my child's mouth recently. 

Ev: (in the tub) Mom! My hands are dead!
Me: No, they are pruny. 
Ev: Noooo! They are dead!

Ev: (singing) Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. 
And on his farm he had a fox, E-I-E-I-O. 
With a fox fox here and a fox fox there, 
here a fox there a fox everywhere a baby fox.

Ev: Oh great. There are two. One for me and one for I.
Me: Me and I?
Ev: Yeah, for both of us.

Ev: Look I draw a circle! Your turn Sinny.
Me: Okay Ev. Look I put eyes and a smile in my circle.
Ev: Oh! Me too. And then I'm going to draw a head.
Me: A head?
Ev: Yeah, it needs a forehead and a mouth.

While playing Spot It, Jr.
Me: Ev, this is really fun!
Ev: Mom, I'm really good at this game!

Walking out the door to do laundry and sees a young college girl with a backpack on.
Ev: Hi missionary! I'm being friendly!

Nick: Hey Ev, who are we going to see this weekend?
Ev: Jillian Michaels!?

Ev: Okay mom, you be Mother (pronounced: Mudda) and I'll be Tangled.
Me: mother Gothel?
Ev: Yeah and I will be Tangled. (I hand her some cereal) Thanks Mother!
Me: You're welcome, babe.
Ev: No! I'm Tangled!
Me: Oh! You're welcome, Tangled.
Ev: That's right.

***A few days later after we've been calling each other Mother and Tangled. She insisted that I called her nothing else.

Ev: Mom you be Shrek and I'll be Donkey.
Me: Okay Donkey. It's time for bed.
Ev: No! I'm Donkey Tangled. And you are Mother Shrek. 
Me: Mother Shrek?
Ev: Yes. You are Mother Shrek and I'm Donkey Tangled. Now say, "It's time for bed Donkey Tangled."
Me: (laughing) It's time for bed Donkey Tangled.
Ev: Goodnight Mother Shrek.

Nick handing Ev a stuffed Damien Lillard doll.
Nick: Hey Ev, do you know who this is?
Ev: LeBron James!
Nick: Well no, this one is Damien Lillard. He plays for the Trail Blazers.
Ev: Oh, Damien Lillard?

***A few minutes later I hear her playing in her room.
Ev: Okay your name is not Damien Lillard. Its Uncle Nick. Uncle Nick you sit with Bear in my shopping cart. (shouts to me) Mom! Can you bring my shopping cart up here so I can put Bear and Uncle Nick in it together?

Ev's prayer 4/17/14
Heavenly Father, help me to be nice. Help me to not push Felicity and Kai and Mo. Help me to not push Dad. Help me to have a family. Amen.

Ev: Mom do unicorns have teeth?

On the plane flying to California.

Ev: (Flipping through channels, stopping on ESPN) I'm going to watch this one.
Me: What are you watching?
Ev: I'm watching basketball. (It was soccer)
Me: Who are you watching?
Ev: LeBron James! Go White team!

Driving home from swimming. Its been quiet for awhile.

Ev: (screaming) COWS!!!!!
Me: I know! Look how many there are!
Ev: Mom, where are the unicorns?
Me: I don't think there are any unicorns out there.
Ev: There are mom! Cows and sheeps and unicorns live on the grass. Cows and sheeps and unicorns eat the grass. We will see them. Just see.

Ev: This is my new baby - baby Anna. (pointing to bear) Its probably a little bit her birthday.
Me: Its a little bit her birthday?
Ev: Yeah! She is 25 on her birthday.

Ev: I'm so glad I peed! I'm so proud of me!

Ev: Mom! If you keep singing I'm going to be very so mad!
Me: If I keep singing you're going to be very so mad?
Ev: Yeah! And if you keep singing I will give you a kiss.

So there you have it. My kid says some pretty weird stuff and most of the time it makes me laugh.

Gotta throw in a few pictures of Anna baby.

My friend Emily calls Anna the cyborg baby because she's so happy all the time.
There is some truth to that - she is my squishy, smiley robot and I love it.
It was pretty cold outside, but there she was, smiling on the blanket the whole time.

We even got a few sister pics.

My life is the antithesis of Pinterest-worthy. I know these photos are so bad, but they are so utopian to me. They depict my life and my children perfectly.

This one especially.
Ev's hair is such a hazard for her. It gets caught in every zipper, in Anna's hands, in her mouth, you name it and her hair will find a way into it.

This one's totally cheesy, but Esther had this grocery sack and the words really are true. Ev makes people smile wherever she goes. If you saw those curls bouncing past you, how could you not smile? She's infectious.

Also, thank you all so much for kind words regarding Nick's job and our move. You guys are the best!