Friday, June 15, 2012

Flashback Friday: Clearly, I Have No Shame

The following video is real.
The individuals portrayed are not paid actors, but simply my parents.

They had six children. Five of whom have been raised to adulthood. The DNA of these two people lives on (thankfully).

Enjoy. (And the video will turn horizontal momentarily)
Are you speechless?

I'll let you in on a little secret. This is one of MANY incriminating Kardashian family dance party videos. Lets just say Kris and Bruce know how to get down.

Sure, Kris has one move (the booty bump with whoever may be next to her), but if its not broke, don't fix it, I say. Kris is clearly a resident hottie next to the spastic and considerably strange Bruce.

Oh Brucie, where do I begin?

The Spongebob Squarepants pants MIGHT (and I say that tentatively) be socially acceptable in the comfort of one's home IF and this is a big IF, you do not tuck your polo shirt into them. Perhaps the most cardinal rule in bedtime fashion is never, ever, EVER tuck anything into your pajama pants. It is not flattering, not attractive, and certainly not normal. Such apparel coupled with certain jerky movements may cause your children to question your IQ, respectability, and general abilities as their paternal parent. While Bruce does deserve immense props for his "creativity," inventiveness, and stamina, all the Kardashian spawn are incredibly indebited to dear Kris for contributing 95% of their DNA.

Thank you Kris, from the bottom of our hearts. We would all be Spongebob Squarepant lovin' fools if it were not for your superior gene pool.

Lets get back to business. Thankfully, Kimmy added video commentary to this alleged dance party.
"Heaven help us, these are our parents."

Oh Kimmy, how right you are. Perhaps I was wrong about the majority of Kris' genes flowing through our veins:

It is clear Bruce snuck more than his fair share into his children. While it is obvious that Kourtney and I (Khloe) inherited Bruce's creativity and most certainly his stamina, does anyone care to explain where in the heck my wide-load of a rear end came from?


No one, just as I suspected. Luckily, Kimmy's video commentary comes to the rescue again.
"That is disgusting."

Well put Kimmy. You are truly the most articulate Kardashian sister. And I'm pretty sure this video is circa 2006 or 2007, so roughly five years old. Which means, Kourtney was already married. Somebody MARRIED her.

And perhaps more shocking, Lamar married me.

Perhaps my rear end has been more helpful than I give it credit for.
You're welcome, Lamar.

And of course the Kardashians would not be complete without a video of Kim and Kendall at the party.

Sadly, this video was taken before Rob's Dancing With the Stars debacle or he would have most definitely added his own perkiness.

And while it is clear that the Kardashians have no shame, it cannot be denied that they are extremely popular.


Mindy said...

This post made me laugh. You guys are too funny, your dancing totally reminds me of Rachel, you guys have that same natural rhythm!

Jana said...

Seriously, I have no words for square pants. That is by far the best video ever.

My children had a wonderful afternoon laugh, They were mesmerized and very worried if Sister Smart knew her daughter put her you tube. Kennedy wanted me to call.

Love it!!

MaryJane said...

Oh. My. Gosh! I just know I was meant to be a Smart...except I am definitely lacking in the "natural rhythem" department. I know this from looking in the mirror at Zumba! Anyway, I'm seriously impressed with with those smart moves...well, maybe not so much Square Pants!

ellen said...

That must go viral.

Can any of their kids get their groove on for 4 minutes without stopping?!?

Melinda said...

Oh my goodness...that was hysterical! So happy to see you two sharing the best dance moves from our era with your kids. I think the first video is worthy of being sent to the "Ellen" show and entered into the contest called "You put that on Facebook?"

You are all you all!

Brit said...

Bahahahaha!!! If I ever forget why we are friends I am going to come back to this post and watch each of these videos 5 times... again... Michael and I are dying. If you wouldn't mind putting together a short youtube tutorial on your incredible butt move we would greatly appreciate it.

Darrell said...

I don't get your reference to "Shame." Does the tiger apologize for his zany stripes? Does the Wolverine apologize for his surly attitude? Likewise, I refuse to apologize for having incredibly creative and enthusiastic dance moves.

sheila said...

I refuse to ever show my face in public again!! May I stand apoligetic to all who know me! P.S. Sydney, you better be afraid, very afraid!!!