Friday, November 30, 2012

Kevin Bacon

Is it just me or does this video,

bear an uncanny resemblance to the second half of this video:
(ignore the teen drinking/smoking)

One of the most intense cinematic moments in history, recreated in our home (by pure accident, I might add). Thanks Kevie Bacon... or should I say, Evie Bacon?

Flashback Friday: Keeping Up With the Real Kardashians

I've never pretended that I'm too good for reality TV. If anything, every ounce of dramatic impulse inside of me was meant for it. Sorry E!, but you got out bid by a bunch of poor law school kids.

Today is the much anticipated Season One Premiere of
Keeping Up With the Real Kardashians, tm
And Snick is proud to be the host site for such an influential reality program.
(emphasis on the reality)

Its real. Its raw. Its unscripted.
But most of all, its just Kardashian.

Tune in for the next unexpected second episode of Season One, Keeping Up With the Real Kardashians, where Khloe and Kim fight over Kris' last piece of chocolate pie. Plus, Khloe takes a real paternity test (finally!) and Bruce gets a makeover.

See you next time ... only on E!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Chatty Cathy, Part 2

When I was in 7th Grade, my parents received a report card that looked something like this:

English - A
Social Studies - A
Math - A
Science - A
PE - A
                                 EXCESSIVE SOCIALIZING
                                 EXCESSIVE SOCIALIZING
                                 EXCESSIVE SOCIALIZING

There were four lines available for the teacher to write whatever he wanted. My teacher, Mr. Johnson, used all capital letters, all four lines, and the same phrase to convey to my parents the type of student I was. I did well in school, but Holy Cannoli, I was a talker.

I have no doubt that although my child looks nothing like me, her insides are a carbon copy of moi. She talks NON-STOP all day every day and like a good mother, I encourage her to at least try to beat me in the Chatty Cathy department. If Ev brings home a report card similar to mine someday, I will definitely be a proud mama. In fact, I might get one of those cheesy Junior High bumper stickers that says, "My kid gets in trouble for talking more than your kid."

Her favorite word right now is "soup." Everything in a bowl is soup. She pronounces every word starting with "s," with a "sh," sound.

In a word, its adorbs.

See for yourself:

Wednesday, November 21, 2012


Here's a recap of my birthdayness. It might possibly be the longest post ever, but as usual, there are a zillion pictures of Ev, so we all know it can't be that bad.

Whenever I meet someone who doesn't celebrate or has never heard of birthdayness, I get sad for them. Everybody deserves birthdayness.
Milk it for all its worth I say! If you want your birthday to last a month, then by golly, you party that month like you're 11 years old and you just got your letter to Hogwarts. My only rule is, you can't overstep your bounds and outstretch your birthdayness into someone else's birthdayness or a major holiday. (Tsk, tsk, Thanksgiving)

Without further ado, my birthdayness a la Kardashian.

Ev now watches movies from her "tair." (chair)

Birthdayness started with a visit my Grandma J and Aunt Jillian. We headed up to Portland to pick them up at the airport.

Riding in a carseat is exhausting apparently. 

And this is where it gets a little dicey IE out of order. I'm lazy and this is my blog, so I'm going to leave all my pictures out of order. 
Anyway, once we picked Grandma and Jillian up from the airport, we headed to the Portland Children's museum. Ev was a little wary at first (I think she was overwhelmed), but she LOVED it. She played and played and played. Then she fell asleep in the car on the way to the outlets where we did some serious shopping. (TAX FREE!) We had a blast with Grandma and Jillian even though their visit was short. We went out to eat, they spoiled me with presents and we showed them the best of Eugene.

Ev just snuggling with Grandma post church.

After Grandma and Jillian left, we had a day to pick up, wash sheets, and wait for our next visitors to come! Grandma She-She and Aunt Chi-Chi!

They took me out to dinner (several times) for my birthday.

Our Fam (so presh).

My personal pazookie! I didn't have to share with anyone (except Ev).

Best Friends. 
Ev looooooves Aunt Kimmy.

Breakfast at Sweet Life Patisserie.

Struttin' my new Lulu Lemon gear.

When my kids ask me if I was cool back in the day I will definitely be showing them this:

Chi-Chi/Ev photoshoot:

Seriously, these two love each other.

And we're back to Grandma J and Aunt Jillian's visit. Here is Ev pushing a shopping cart at the children's museum. She seriously loved being in control of the cart instead of riding in it.

If I look tired, its because I stayed up until 2:48 AM reading Divergent by Veronica Roth. It was honestly one of the best books I've read in a long time. I actually liked it better than Hunger Games (its fairly similar). And its a trilogy! I've already read the second one and I'm impatiently waiting for the third one to be released. 

Giant Lite Bright.

Ev was so good at church when Grandma J and Jillian were here. I swear she was trying to impress them or something. She even fell asleep in Grandma's arms during Relief Society. That was however, after she refused to go to nursery. 

She's getting so good at climbing our steps.

Best Buds.

Ev is so giggly around Jillian. Its so cute to watch them play.

Jordan girls.

Reading with Grandma She-She.

This next part really deserves it's own post. My friend Emma made me a CHEETAH cake. Yes, you heard me. 
A Kardashian Kake for a Kardashian girl.

Where was Emma when I got married? She could have made me a three-tiered cheetah wedding cake.

Look at this!
Martha who?
Duff who?

Seriously, its the best cake ever.

And it tasted like Daniel Craig in a speedo.
I ate it for breakfast until it was gone.

A Kardashian with her Kake.

Oh, just Ev rocking her denim chambray.

Ev's "friend," William came over for a playdate. They ended up taking a bath together and it was hilarious. Poor Will, I hope he will still be Ev's friend after she water-boarded him for twenty minutes.

Okay, before you all punch me in the face for being such a narcissist, let me explain this picture.

1. My sisters (Kim and Kendall/Chelsea and Darel) gave me this vespa cardigan for my birthdayness. What's really awesome is that I found it in London at this little boutique and came SO CLOSE to buying it. I decided not to, and then regretted the whole thing but never got back to the boutique before we left England. Like the real awesome sisters they are, they went back and got it for me.

2. I'm a narcissist, so I guess there's nothing more to say.

I know its a weird sweater, but I seriously LOVE it. 
Ask Nick, I literally giggled when I put it on the first time.

Opening "presies," as Tom Haverford would say.

When my mom/sister were here we took Ev to gymnastics.
We've been going the last month or so.
She LOVES it. And I'm not trying to brag or anything, but its really helped her with her motor skills and I think we might have a little Shawn Johnson on our hands (except my little gymnast has a neck).

I know it might look like I'm playing in a child's foam pit, but its only because... I'm playing in a child's foam pit.

Ev jumped off into my arms like the Brave Little Toaster.

Five Guys and a bag a fries.
Yes, like a fatty who's love language is food, I went to Five Guys on my birthday.

Remember how Ev's favorite food is french fries?

Look at her! Jacking my fries...

Who is this kid's mother?

In my defense, it was my birthdayness, and I was going for the laissez-faire approach to parenting. That, and the fact that it was an hour past her bed time.

Pre-pig tails.

Post-pig tails.

"Presies! Presies! Presies!"

Seriously? Have you seen a cuter gymnast?

She-She bonding time.

I swear every birthday gets better and better. I don't care that I'm getting old and rapidly approaching old age (30). I got to spend the week surrounded by family who spoiled me ROTTEN, eating good food, and going to the 10:00 PM showing of Twilight. 
Yes, I dragged my mom, sister, and closest friends to Twilight with me. Besides an altercation with a Regina George-esque grotsky little biotch, it was a blasty-blast. I actually snorted OUT LOUD after the "fight scene," was all just a joke. Stephenie Meyer, I kind of want to punch you in the face. Mostly because you thought of Twilight instead of me and now you're filthy rich and wearing ugly designer clothes. No I lied. Its mostly because I secretly like Twilight. And apparently I'm not that secret about it because I stood in line like a 14-year old girl anxiously awaiting Bella/Edward Vampire Sex. Wow, I just said that. Okay, here's the kicker though. When I got home, I unzipped my jacket and guess what?
A piece of popcorn fell out of the top of my bra.

I guess there is a reason I didn't think of Twilight after all.
My life is just so perfect, that I could never imagine anything better than a popcorn-kernel-stuffed-bra.

Until next year, birthdayness...