Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Keeping up with the REAL Kardashians

Some of you may have heard of the hit reality TV Show, Keeping up with the Kardashians.
The hip, hot, and totally outrageous family is actually based on the lives of the Smart family, who wished to remain anonymous despite their immense popularity and ridiculously amazing genes. Allow me to demonstrate:

Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner: THE PARENTS

Bruce Jenner is a former Olympian who is famous not only for his good looks but his macho athletic skills. Bruce loves his daughters and enjoys joking around with Kris whenever he gets a chance.

Kris is a total Betty (obviously) and her daughters thank her everyday for contributing such fabulous genes to their family pool. Kris is always trying to help out her kids and is famous for her hilarious one-liners.

Kourtney Kardashian: THE OLDEST SISTER

Kourt is the shortest of all her sisters, but as the oldest, she often has to rein in her younger sibs. She is the only Kardashian with children and she is totally the best mom ever.

Kim Kardashian: THE HOTTIE

Kim is the most popular of all the Kardashians - in fact, the show is mostly about her. She is a workaholic, but loves her job, and many say that she is destined for success here in the states and abroad. Oh, and she's totally popular.

Khloe Kardashian: THE MIDDLE SISTER

Khloe is the most inappropriate Kardashian sister, always making jokes in awkward situations and she often enjoys pestering her sibs. She recently got married to Lamar Odom, who is much taller than her.

Rob Kardashian: THE BROTHER

Poor Rob. He is the only Kardashian boy and his life has been one of constant torment, thanks to his sisters. He's totally gorgeous and often dates girls that annoy his sisters, just because he can.

Kendall Jenner: THE BABY SISTER

Kendall is sporty, and often wears scrubs around the Kardashian house all day. She loves when her older sibs come to visit so she's not always stuck with Kris and Bruce.


The youngest of all the Kardashians. Kylie's best friend is Kendall - you rarely see them without one another.

Is it simply a coincidence that the Kardashians want to be just like the Smart family?
I don't think so.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

BIG NEWS: A Snickerdoodle

This tasty treat of a fellow officially has a Baby Mama.

Exhibit A (The Baby Mama):

Exhibit B (Proof that the Baby Mama is capable of her status and title):

I look good with a baby right? (Now is the time you reassure me that I'm not crazy and that I am indeed capable of all this)

Exhibit C: The Baby Daddy
* I considered not putting any of Papa Snick in this post because he always makes me look bad with his charm and perfect jaw.

He loves making me look bad.

Our Snickerdoodle arrives in April. So that puts me just under 13 weeks. I wish we had a tender ultrasound picture of our delicious snickerdoodle, but our health insurance is... sub par, so we have to wait until we find out the gender (around Thanksgiving) to show everyone the profile of a future America's Next Top Model
Just kidding, my thighs? Our baby has no chance! But if Male Snick does nothing else in this life, pray that he contributes 95% of our snickerdoodle's genes, (for the baby's sake, of course).

I'm hoping that declaring my pregnancy on the world wide web will make this all feel more real.

So far, it's not working. Lucky Male Snick is calm, non-neurotic, energetic, and well, not pregnant. He makes up for my crazy, hormonal, slightly chubby, and well, feminine side.

Okay, now for the fun stuff. Here are snickerdoodle's stats so far:
Baby Snick will be:
- The 40th great-grandchild of Eldon and Phyl.
-The 11th great-grandchild of Robert and Delores.
-The 3rd great-grandchild of Evelyn and Bernie.
-The 4th grandchild of Durrell and Shelly.
-The 1st grandchild of Melinda and David.
-And in case you live under a rock, the first child of these crazy people:

Monday, October 4, 2010

Holla for the Hubster

My hunka-hubba-lubba-hubster is taking the LSAT on Saturday.

This might be my bias opinion, but I believe Sir Nicholas deserves a shout out. He has been so diligent, so focused, and so law-schooly. Seriously, any law school would be lucky to have such a handsome, intelligent, and logical student. In the words of Elle Woods, "He totally looks the part." (Minus the hot pink ascot and creepy gay weiner dog).
8 hours a day is a long time to study when you are a full-time student working two jobs. But male Snick has got it down - proving again that he is super law-schooly. Nick has also proven that the verb law-schooling is in fact, a viable verb.

In all seriousness, the past six months or so have reminded me why I loved Nick enough to marry him. Besides his obvious good looks and charm, Nick is the hardest working person I know. He has forgone sleep our entire marriage to provide for us and I know that those acts of charity will continue throughout our lives. I can't even remotely function without a solid 8-12 hours! I guess you could say we are the perfect match... Someone has to be the taker in the relationship right? Maybe someday I will give Nick a chance to take, but I feel like I'm doing such a good job that I will continue to let him give. Just kidding, but seriously, I love this guy.

Proof that he looks something between an Abercrombie model (minus the disgusting sexual messages on his t-shirt) and a Greek God. Okay, I may have stolen that line from John Tucker Must Die, but John Tucker has nothing on Nick Jordan in my opinion.

Please keep my hubster in your prayers this week! And don't call or text him! HE IS STUDYING! And when he's done studying - he's all MINE!