Nick often comments that I only listen to "lesbian" music. (IE: Eliza Doolittle, Ingrid Michaelson, Imogen Heap, etc.) Since I diagnosed him as a genuine homophobe, I usually dismiss such comments. Especially when he says that if Ev ends up picking softball over tennis, its my fault.
No pressure there.
Anyway, I have realized that my taste in music is embarrassing. I will never deny my love for Regina Spektor or Beth Waters, but what is more concerning is my instant attraction to boy band pop-tart tunes. It was okay in the 90's - BSB, N'Sync, even 98 degrees if you were a rebel. I even believe its okay to reminisce about the "good ole days," while listening to Quit Playing Games with my Heart, and enjoying every moment. But the real kicker comes when you realize that a large SUV is in your near future and all you care about is a bonafide sound system. And not just any sound system - but one that will make my children shutter at stoplights when they realize that their mom is a One Direction fan.
Please forgive me.
Have you heard What Makes you Beautiful? Its been on the radio a lot, but apparently not enough for me. Its awful, but something about the poppy upbeat makes me a fourteen year-old girl. Seriously, instead of laughing and changing the radio I secretly say "Yes! Twice today? It must be my lucky day!"
That is not a lie.
I usually turn it up and jam. I don't even bother to turn it down when I'm stopped at a light. In fact, I usually turn that baby up!
Okay, okay, you are probably thinking, that's embarrassing but not that bad. (Or maybe you think I'm a total psycho, I dunno...)
It gets worse unfortunately. I haven't been able to find the song on iTunes because we all know its totally worth buying! So I was googling this and that when I found this:
The official music video.
Help me, Rhonda! Does this make me a pedophile?
I made a pros and cons list to be sure
Cons (IE: I am a pedophile)
- They are 14 year-old boys.
- I have the same striped shirt and pink pants as the one with short brown hair.
- If given the opportunity, I would have accepted an invitation to be in this music video. (Perhaps a homely girl alone on the rocks?)
- I found myself wondering if Nick would look good in a plaid shirt like main guy/child.
- Could Nick pull off the shaggy hair again? I sure loved that when we were first dating...
- I wonder where they got their lipgloss, is it Burt's Bees?
- Forget a large SUV, I want an orange VW van.
- I would love to go to a bonfire on my next date with Nick.
- I have tried to "flip" my hair thrice today. (While looking in the mirror twice)
Pros (IE: I am definitely not a pedophile)
- They are British. How can you know this by simply watching the music video? Well, I watched "the making of the music video," and they all have sexy British accents. Crap, I think my one Pro is definitely now a con.
Poor Ev, she will most likely have a conversation exactly like this in fifteen years:
Ev: "Hey Mom can I go to the One Direction concert with my friends?"
Me: "I don't know, will there be chaperones there?"
Ev: "Yeah, so and so's Dad will be there."
Me: "No way, I'll chaperone."
Ev: "Mom, that's so embarrassing! Going to a concert with your mom? Do you even know who One Direction is?"
Me: "You won't even notice me, I'll hang low, just keep an eye on you." (IE: I'll be so busy mosh pitting you won't even see me!) "No, I haven't heard of this One Demand band - is it appropriate music?"
Ev: "They are called One Direction, Mom. And its very clean, but definitely NOT appropriate for a fifty year-old."
Me: "I'm not fifty! Do I really look that old?"
Ev: "Oh, I just assumed you were old and fifty sounds old to me."
Twenty minutes later I will be busy pre-ordering my One Direction limited edition t-shirt to wear underneath all my clothes for the next four months.
"I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom."