Saturday, April 12, 2014


So we had some weird neighbors awhile back. They were super unfriendly and always kinda sneaky.
We I nicknamed him Indiana Jones because he always wore a hat that looked like this:

Literally EVERYDAY. 
I'm not exaggerating.
Sadly, our neighbor didn't resemble Indiana in any other ways besides the matching hat.
But he kinda resembled this guy:

He also had a girlfriend/wife/roommate/sister who was a beautiful asian woman.
Since they never said hi to me (or Evie) I made it my personal mission to get them to at least wave to the pregnant whale that lived next door to them. Unfortunately it never worked and they moved to an apartment complex reserved for unfriendly black hotties where they'd fit in better. 

Anyway, I felt like after they moved out we deserved some really good neighbors.

Esther (the wife) is super crafty and always coming up with cool things to do with our kids. The day before St. Patrick's day she knocked on my door with this adorable cloud pillow and kid's rainbow craft inviting us to do it with her. So we helped our kids make rainbow seeds (skittles) and took a few pictures underneath the rainbow cloud. Ev enjoyed coloring the rainbow and eating skittles, but she was pretty cooperative with the photos too. And I suck at photography so no judging here folks. I'm like the poster child for pinterest fails and the Nailed it! campaign. 

Anna was like, "For the love Mom! This is dumb, but I'm so cute and nice I'll let you do it anyway."

Then Esther told me about this FREE petting zoo in Eugene.
You all know how I feel about animals, but what you probably don't know is that I think they all belong in cages and I flipping love the zoo. Plus I thought my child would enjoy it.
I wasn't expecting much since A) This is Eugene and B) Usually the word FREE means ... lame
it was pretty cool, albeit super smelly and dirty.

Its just a free petting zoo inside a pet store. They have some semi-exotic animals that aren't for sale, but that you can hold, pet, and snuggle (for the brave).

We met the Cooks there.
Gosh I love this girl. Her mom doesn't know it, but I'm stealing her when we move this summer.

She's my fave (and I'm not talking about the ferret).

There were lemurs jumping all over the place.
Que: Syd hyperventilating. 
In my head I was acting out that scene in Tommy Boy where David Spade and Chris Farley jump out of the car to avoid the cops screaming, "SAVE YOURSELVES! KILLER BEES! THEY'RE EATING US ALIVE!!!"
See how much inner turmoil I have? The things I do for my children...

Ev pretty much hated it, which made me feel like a loser.

Parent problem #44

I'm such a cool mom! Taking my kid to do something adventurous, helping her appreciate nature, animals, and the smell of exotic excrements. And it's free! I'm so frugal, I'm practically a couponer! We'll get awesome photos with the animals, Ev will love it, and she'll always have such fond memories of the wonderful things she did as a child. It will probably even make her smarter! In her high-school graduation speech she'll casually mention her early admission to Harvard, then not so casually mention that without a mother who took her at a young age to do such educational and amazing things, she'd never have learned to push her limits or try new things and she certainly wouldn't have written that incredible essay about how her mom showed her the pathway to ambition and greatness.

Well that sort of sucked. I think I stepped in rabbit poo and bloody hell, I can't believe I actually tried to grab a guinea pig for my daughter. What was I thinking? Not only did I make a fool of myself when I squealed in terror as I tried to grab it, but I was actively trying to make my child like animals. Rookie mistake, Syd. Now Ev's going to want a guinea pig and you're going to have to be the "mean mom" and tell her that you're "allergic" or something. On second thought, the allergy thing worked for my mom, so maybe it could work for me too...I'm sort of surprised Ev was so afraid of the animals. Maybe animal hating is hereditary. Or... maybe my child is so smart that she realizes the impracticality of having pets - the expense, the mess, the smell. Maybe this was a pretty good idea after all! I definitely saw the wheels turning in Ev's head when she cried and ran away from the parrots. Sure it was terribly unenjoyable, but she was probably listening when the pet store owner was talking about lemurs and Madagascar. She'll probably fondly remember her pet store experience and it will fuel her desire to travel the world and do good someday! I'm such a cool mom!

Towards the end, Ev got brave and held a few guinea pigs (Thanks, Jenny).

And since I'm a masochist, I'll probably be taking her back someday.
The things we do to get our kids into Harvard...
JK I'm not a Tiger Mom.

Speaking of the Cooks, we borrowed this pedal less bike from them to see if Ev would like it.
She does!
(I won't spoil the surprise, but she might be getting something similar for her birthday)

Dang, I should have titled this post, We Love the Cooks, which ain't no lie despite being borderline creepy.

These two! 

I mean, seriously?!

A pensive breakfast at Off the Waffle.

My sick baby.

I have to restrain myself on a daily basis.
I could squeeze her ALL day.

A sleeping dragon always looks peaceful, but do not wake the beast - it will scorch your eyebrows off and empale you like a skewer.

Fiesty and frustrating, but a whole lot of fun.
I love this kid.

My peaceful sleeping dragon, yet again.

Anna works long hours.



Can you tell I'm trying to get caught up on the blog before Ev's birthday on Wednesday?


Wait, WHAT???


Amanda Jeffs said...

I always feel better about myself when I read about others' dislike of animals. Sometimes the world makes me feel like animal hating is worse than baby hating. Maybe the world just hasn't seen our cute babes.

Sydney said...

AGREED, Amanda! You nailed it! I couldn't have said it better myself.

Sheila Smart said...

Hahaha! Cracked up through this entire post! Wish I could have seen you at the "free petting zoo". Three words that should never be together. I'm glad you survived. Also, when will you begin Ev's Harvard application? Cause I think we could start building our kids' applications together. One Tiger Mom moment at a time. bwahahaha!

Sheila Smart said...

And somehow I'm posting as Mom...this is Dottie. Weird...

Tiffany said...

Oh my gosh I'm DYING! You are so funny! I think the same things when I'm taking my kids to anything with animals. And it also don't touch. And neither does Brooklyn. Lol.