I have a lot of cousins.
As a kid, my favorite memories were those spent with my cousins on either side (Smart/Hague).
Today, I'm giving a shout out to the glorious Smart genes.
Its no secret that we're good looking, so I don't think its boastful to state the obvious.
Exhibit A:
Hiking on some cray cray trip with my Dad.
Every summer for a long time Rachel and I would take turns visiting each other. My favorite summers were the ones that I got to go PG. I used to think PG was the greatest city on the planet. (Not that its not great, but I've gotten out a little more since I was ten)
So I've compiled a list of my favorite memories from my summers in Pleasant Grove, Utah.
1. "Catching" rabbits at Sue Fox's house. Sue Fox was this incredibly unsanitary woman with the grossest grayish ponytail you've ever seen. She had a cesspool of a "farm."
Sue had two rules at her house. 1) All animals love ding-dongs, and 2) "If you can catch it, you can keep it."
And catch we did. I caught my first three and only three rabbits in my life - Big Mama, Peaches, and Barbie. I called to ask my mom if I could bring home some rabbits when I drove home from Utah. Luckily Uncle Ricker was in the room when I was on the phone and he helped me trick my mom into saying yes. He told me to tell my mom that I'd only bring home rabbits if I could find a pink one. My mom said yes and Rach and I grabbed the red Kool-Aid. I'm pretty sure Roman and Roxanne were there too, but my memory is a little jaded. Anyway, we filled a bucket up full of Kool-Aid and dumped poor Barbie (she was white) into it. A few minutes later, the world's first pink bunny was born! And I was well on my way to bringing home my rabbits.
When my Dad came to get me and saw that I had nothing to put my rabbits in, we grabbed a cardboard box and packed up the car. When I walked in the house 12 hours later (yes we drove 12 hours with 3 rabbits in a cardboard box in our car in the middle of summer) my mom gave me a look that said, "What in HELL did your dad let you do?" She didn't even need to see the rabbits - she could smell them on me. But she couldn't argue because I had a PINK bunny to justify myself.
48 hours later, the rabbits were nestled in a cage that we helped my Dad build.
Similarly, Sue Fox was also caged in the county jail for cruelty to animals.
2. Telling Lily that I was a British orphan whose parents had died in a horrible car accident. Thanks to my amazing British accent and Rachel's perfectly timed fake tears, Lily bought the story and believed our insensitive lie. To her credit, she forgave us when we told her the truth.
3. Watching Boomer do the "Mac N Cheese" song with Rachel.
4. Singing karaoke to the 8-track player. "It's in His Kiss," reminds me of Rachel every time I hear it.
5. Lily, Roxanne, Rachel and I walking to the Provo Towncenter Mall to go shopping. After purchasing what I'm sure was a myriad of trashy t-shirts, we tried to cross University during rush hour. I can't remember if it was Lily or Roxanne, but someone dropped their bag while running across and we just left it there in the middle of the street because all the cars were honking at us.
6. Camping out in Ricker's backyard while Rick told us ghost stories.
I might have wet my sleeping bag.
7. Falling in love with some guy named Mitch. I can't remember the details of this story either, but I remember going to his house and falling in love in a matter of minutes. But then Rachel's pretty but evil friend hated me because she liked him too. Can't remember her name, but she NEVER liked me.
8. Rachel and Roxanne trying to teach me cheer moves. Imagine this: A chubby 12-year old girl who has no flexibility or knowledge of cheerleading.
It was about as awesome as it sounds.
9. Eating a loaf of Granny Bread in one sitting.
10. Watching Beverly Hills Ninja three days in a row.
I miss those summers!
How is this safe? I'm on a mountain! Ten bucks says my Dad made me climb down there to get this pic.
Aaaaaaaand this is where this post takes a turn for the awkwardly unmentionable.
I will not pretend that this is okay.
It's not.
At least we're wearing swimsuits...
6 comments:
This is one of your funniest posts ever--and you've posted some really funny stuff. The Smarty cousins are not only beautiful, but crazy. Evie's in trouble, it's genetics.
Sydney, I only wish you could have seen Rachel reading this! She couldn't even speak she was laughing so hard. It was so so funny!!! Sorry we were such bad host, but glad you took it so well.
This IS a funny post! I love the tub time pics. I never knew Roxanne had hair that short, and her revealing her eyeballs is too funny! Poor Shea with all those girls....... OR maybe not!
HA HA HA. Oh my heck! I seriously have not laughed that hard in.... well probably years. I miss those Summers Syd! Seriously did we ever take you to do ANYTHING fun? Ha ha Granny Bread and Sue Fox, PG is a pretty awesome place! I totally lost it at, "She had a cesspool of a "farm." Never have truer words been spoken. I seriously want to comment on every single number because honestly I was CRYING reading every single one. If I took anything from this post its that At least kids can still have fun being chubby and white trash. Funniest post ever.
P.S. I'm humiliated that you remember #s 3 and 4!
Those first two pics are definitely from hiking boulder cave! Lucky you had such fun cousins, I had none my age.
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