It started way back in 1933,
on a cereal box for the hungry.
Adorned with an athlete, stamped with a seal
reading "Breakfast of Champions" for your first meal.
Everyone wanted Wheaties cuz it gave them power,
Without sweat, they could do a million push-ups an hour.
They could be like Mike, and score like Hamm,
One thing was certain, this cereal's no scam.
A lot of kids these days do a whole lotta skippin'
Now we know why they ain't shootin' like Pippen.
If you don't eat your breakfast, then you'll never be your best,
according to Wheaties you'll just be like the rest.
Now I want to rival Magic and Ali,
so I'm gonna do whats best for me.
Except my "Breakfast of Champions" isn't the Wheaties,
my favorite meal is a new kind of sweetie.
Without the calories she's got tons of fat,
her anterior thighs are where its at.
I squeeze 'em and eat 'em and devour them all day,
Its natural energy so I can play.
If I don't skip Evie Breakfast then I'm good to go,
I can cook, clean, do everything, be Superwoman fo' sho.
With my "Breakfast of Champions" I'll always succeed,
my favorite chubby snack is all I need.