Sometimes life just plain sucks - I'm so eloquent, I know.
In fact, Nick and I have discussed how incredibly blown away we are by the amount of sucking life has done recently. And I do not have a way with words when it comes to life sucking. I'm a deflector - a sarcastic callus who ignores the bad and jokes while eating my feelings.
Three weeks ago, my dad's brother passed away. I was able to go to Utah for the funeral while Nick stayed home with Ev. It was a quick trip, but I'm so glad I was able to go. Not only to celebrate the life of a truly legendary man, but to see some of my extended family. Funerals are never an enjoyable experience, but I'm so grateful I got to spend time with family that I don't get to see often - the Smarts are amazing people. And I'm not just saying that because we share DNA.
Several days later was the anniversary of Keith's passing.
The next day, a dear family friend passed away after a long battle with breast cancer.
Then, a few days later, our dear friend Ryan Conley passed away in a car accident.
To say our hearts are aching is a huge understatement. Nick and I have felt devastated for those we love going through such horrible trials. Ryan's death has been so hard to bear. We are so sad for Tiffany and her girls and we both miss Ryan.
Since I'm less than a month from my due date, I wasn't able to attend the funeral, but Nick was able to make a quick trip to California to be there and again, I'm so glad he was able to go. I never know what to say in situations of extreme grief, but I know that when I don't know what to say, a prayer always helps. I can't even describe what I'm feeling these days. Incredible grief and sadness for my friends and family, gratitude for the light of the gospel and my sweet family, and confusion as I try to make sense of it all.
We all know that bad things happen, but that doesn't make it any easier when they do.
And I'm not just word vomiting all these terrible things to depress anyone who reads this blog, I just didn't know how to blog about the good things we've experienced lately without acknowledging the difficult as well. Because we have experienced good, even great things recently. Its never all bad, even when it seems that way.
I'm so thankful that our family is forever.
And I know this picture is old, but I love it. It just felt appropriate to put it in here, especially when we only have a few more weeks to be just the three of us.