Monday, November 7, 2011

Our House Elf

I have noticed something strange since approximately May 1, 2009 and I finally put my finger on just what it is the other day. There are mysterious, even magical, occurrences within the walls of our home on a daily basis. I am constantly asking myself how certain things get cleaned, picked up, fixed, or just done in general. Case and point: Syd and I went to bed the other night around 11pm and when I awoke around 5am to head to school, there was a sack lunch sitting on the counter with my name on it. I am sure it could not have been Syd because after the long days she has day in and day out, there is just no possible way she could get up at some point during the night to furnish such a lunch for me. It's not physically possible. After thinking long and hard as to whom the culprit could be, I finally found my answer in the most unlikely of places...Harry Potter. (Note: I am only a mere muggle and so my lack of knowledge to turn to magical sources for explanations is quite understandable, though not acceptable excuse if you find yourself a wizard or witch.) There is only one explanation to all the baffling happenings that occur in our home. We have somehow inherited ourselves a house elf.

I do not know how this house elf came into our possession, but I am most grateful to it for its abounding generosity. In a recent conversation with Syd about my theory on our newly acquired house elf, I was confronted with a barrage of horrible things that are done to house elves. They are beaten, yelled at, and generally treated with the utmost disrespect and disgust. After educating myself further through an unbiased source about house elves (Wikipedia), I learned that while there are some house elves that are treated in the manner Syd had explained to me, the majority are graciously happy performing their duties. Despite the seemingly horrid lifestyles house elves must endure, they seem to actually enjoy being enslaved. So I realized that ultimately our house elf was enjoying doing all those wonderful deeds and suddenly I stopped feeling so sorry for the house elf.

Of course, searching for information about house elves will return numerous articles about the #1 most talked about house elf, Dobby. I learned about all Dobby did to help others and how he was different than others because he was a free house elf. This got me thinking. Did I own my house elf? Was I its master? Did my house elf even like me as its master? In the goodness of my heart and maybe a moment of weakness, I decided one night earlier this week to set the matter straight and present my house elf with a piece of clothing in the form of my used fruit-smelling workout clothes. For those uneducated muggles out there, presenting clothes to a house elf is essentially the way to free it from your service. I figured my house elf has done so much for me in the past two years that it was time to reciprocate by granting it freedom.

I thought that maybe my house elf would aparate to the nearest tropical beach with stories of a tortuous tyrant of a master who demanded so much, but instead the magical proceedings continued. My house elf really knows how to take care of me. Syd went out of town again a few weeks and it was up to our house elf to pick up the slack. Miraculously, our fridge looked like this.

Those are three lunches ready to go for the next three days and underneath that is precooked meals for the next three nights. I wouldn't survive without my house elf. I would truly fall by the wayside and slowly slip away. I wouldn't say I could be diagnosed with "Failure to Thrive" like some other author of a renowned world-wide blog, but I would truly suffer without the aid of my loyal house elf. I am eternally thankful for my house elf, wherever it may be. It should know that my daughter thanks her though she can't speak quite yet. It should know that I couldn't function without it. And it should know that no act of magic around our house goes unnoticed. If there have been acts of magic that have slipped by without a thank you or sign of reciprocation, I am sorry. Our home is better because of our house elf. Our home is stronger because of our house elf. Our "Dobby" keeps us functioning well on a daily basis. We love our "Dobby."

I wish I could have captured a picture to post of our devoted "Dobby," but as everyone knows house elves are rarely seen and consequently I have failed to capture a picture yet. Our "Dobby" eludes us for now.


jennica said...

hahahaha. nick you are the best. and obviously you have the best "house elf" too.

sheila said...

Hey, where can I get a house elf? I would LOVE to have one. Nick, you continue to be born under a lucky star for sure! I feel fortunate just rubbing shoulders with you. Awesome post, but throw in a few pictures of that baby girl for me will ya?

Sydney said...

You are too kind. Thanks for the post.

PS Our fridge is messy. Can Dobby get its own house elf to help with its chores?

Darrell said...

What a cool post. I love it when your house elf visits us and does nice things for me too!