I'm often amazed at how genteel and ladylike my children are.
I'm constantly reminded that a coy smile is the best way to politely accept someone's offer.
And if perhaps you change your mind, a simple shake of the head will do.
When appearing at meals, one must be appropriately dressed at all times.
And of course one must chew like a lady.
Even if the food is not up to your standards.
A lady never helps out in the kitchen - there are servants (mothers) for that.
A lady rarely eats sweets, for it is vulgar and unnecessary.
If a lady happens to indulge, a bite or two will do.
Elbows (and other body parts) should never linger on the table.
If a lady plans to overeat, she should plan accordingly, and loosen her corset.
A lady should always have good hygiene, taking care of her manicure is of utmost importance.
A lady should sit and converse with her friends, never stealing their snacks or eating things off the ground. How abhorrent!
A lady should always have kept hair. She should be ready at a moment's notice to catch the eye of a bachelor.
Reading is a lovely hobby for a lady. If she chooses to check out books from the library, she should return them in immaculate condition.
A lady should always offer her seat to other ladies in the room.
A lady should always wear appropriate attire for whatever activity she is participating in.
She should always come prepared for whatever Mother Nature has in store.
A proper lady gets plenty of rest.
A lady need not snack incessantly.
A lady of good fortune attends all necessary social functions.
A lovely young lady always wears her best outfits.
And she would never dare upstage a dear friend or beloved sister.
A true lady is reserved and demure.
A lady always tries new trends. She must be up to date on all the latest wonders of the world, especially if her mother spent much too long on toast.
A real lady always sits in a non-revealing fashion. For showing undergarments is repulsive and despicable.
A lady bathes regularly.
To be a proper lady, one must ensue many hobbies, such as gardening.
It is not proper for a lady to snort or laugh loudly in public.
A true lady waits her turn, for she knows that patience is a virtue.
A lady does not stare impolitely.
Aggressive activities do not suit a lady.
Fun should be experienced within limits for a lady.
A lady would never attempt risqué behavior.
A prim lady knows the Arts forward and backward.
She might even be an artist herself.
A true and proper lady knows humility.
If you need help with fine tuning your own ladylike skills, just come to Evie and Anna's house. They know exactly how to act!
3 comments:
Love it. I thought for a second there I was doing it wrong, but I see now that I was right all along ;)
Hilarious. Love it.
makes me want to hang out more at your house.
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