Tuesday, April 21, 2015

A Fine Lady

I'm often amazed at how genteel and ladylike my children are.



I'm constantly reminded that a coy smile is the best way to politely accept someone's offer.


And if perhaps you change your mind, a simple shake of the head will do.


When appearing at meals, one must be appropriately dressed at all times.



And of course one must chew like a lady.


Even if the food is not up to your standards.



A lady never helps out in the kitchen - there are servants (mothers) for that.


A lady rarely eats sweets, for it is vulgar and unnecessary.





If a lady happens to indulge, a bite or two will do.



Elbows (and other body parts) should never linger on the table.



If a lady plans to overeat, she should plan accordingly, and loosen her corset.


A lady should always have good hygiene, taking care of her manicure is of utmost importance.



A lady should sit and converse with her friends, never stealing their snacks or eating things off the ground. How abhorrent!



A lady should always have kept hair. She should be ready at a moment's notice to catch the eye of a bachelor.



Reading is a lovely hobby for a lady. If she chooses to check out books from the library, she should return them in immaculate condition.


A lady should always offer her seat to other ladies in the room.


A lady should always wear appropriate attire for whatever activity she is participating in.



She should always come prepared for whatever Mother Nature has in store.


A proper lady gets plenty of rest.






A lady need not snack incessantly.



A lady of good fortune attends all necessary social functions.


A lovely young lady always wears her best outfits.



And she would never dare upstage a dear friend or beloved sister.


A true lady is reserved and demure.


A lady always tries new trends. She must be up to date on all the latest wonders of the world, especially if her mother spent much too long on toast.


A real lady always sits in a non-revealing fashion. For showing undergarments is repulsive and despicable. 



A lady bathes regularly.


To be a proper lady, one must ensue many hobbies, such as gardening.



It is not proper for a lady to snort or laugh loudly in public.



A true lady waits her turn, for she knows that patience is a virtue.



A lady does not stare impolitely. 



Aggressive activities do not suit a lady.


Fun should be experienced within limits for a lady.






A lady would never attempt risqué behavior.


A prim lady knows the Arts forward and backward.
She might even be an artist herself.




A true and proper lady knows humility.

If you need help with fine tuning your own ladylike skills, just come to Evie and Anna's house. They know exactly how to act!




3 comments:

Virginia Prescott said...

Love it. I thought for a second there I was doing it wrong, but I see now that I was right all along ;)

Amanda Jeffs said...

Hilarious. Love it.

Darrell said...

makes me want to hang out more at your house.