Monday, February 11, 2013

Dear Ikea,

You make a terrible product, but yet I keep coming back to you.
Is it because I can read Swedish? (Everyone in Africa can read Swedish)
Or because The Billy is the greatest bookshelf in the world?
Is it because I can get you in natural, black, black/brown, white and gray?
Or because I love having an excuse to drive all the way to you, then I love to hate myself when I get lost in your store and can't get out?
Is it because we got a kitchen table and chairs for $100 when we first got married?

The answer is yes. I love/hate Ikea for all of those reasons.
Awesome stuff, but yet not so awesome when it falls apart. And you know its going to fall apart every time, yet you wish for The Billy with all your heart.

One week ago, we were eating a quiet family breakfast of heart shaped pancakes a la Pinterest...



Nailed it! 

...when I realized that Pinterest makes me feel like a million bucks. For reals. I bet the lady that spent 5 hours making these beautiful pancakes ignored her children. I let my kid crack the eggs and put in way too much baking powder and my pancakes were STILL edible. Can you do that Pinterest? Sure my pancakes looked like Pepto Bismol and a toddler got ahold of them, but that's only because my kid does everything with me and I was out of food coloring...
Also I think if I was good at photography, my Pepto Bismol pancakes would be blowing up Pinterest right now.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post, just a side note.
The point is, we were having a lovely family breakfast when Nick's chair collapsed beneath him. He, and my perfect Pepto Bismol pancakes were strewn all over our dining room*. (*see also: family room, den, playroom, living room, home theater)
Our amazing Ikea chair had failed us! After almost four years, the thing literally collapsed beneath us! (And when I say us, I mean Nick, because if it would have collapsed underneath me I probably would have written Ikea a NASTY letter about how they purposefully made me feel fat, while I was eating my perfectly beautiful Pinterest pancakes)

Wait, there is more.

This morning, while Nick was eating a bowl of cereal (I had to rest for awhile, since I completely outdid myself with such Martha-worthy pancakes) the same thing happened with another one of our chairs!

We have lost 50% of our chairs in the past week.

Now, Nick sits on a medicine ball for dinner while Ev and I have the chairs. (How chivalrous)

Ikea: 2, Jordans: 0

I am resisting every urge in my body to drive to Ikea and get two more matching chairs this weekend.


MaryJane said...

Casey's Ikea chairs are still in tact, but she is going to unmatched chairs now. Quite trendy I'm told. Anyway you can probably pick them up pretty cheap in a second-hand store. Also it presents an opportunity to put your crafty skills to work. Unfortunatly it does not provide an opportunity to go to Ikea...wait...maube there is a second-hand store near Ikea!

MaryJane said...

PS: I love your heart pancakes and that Evie got to help.

Darcee said...

Ikea. So easy to love. So easy to hate. Why don't you come up early this week and go. I'll watch Ev. Seriously. I'm serious! The kids will love it.
I also love/hate your pancakes. Love that you did such a great job. Hate that you always try such cute things. Makes me feel like worst mom ever!!!
Anyway, peace n blessins!!!

Rachey Elder said...

Ha ha, you are seriously hilarious! I too have a love/hate relationship with IKEA, dang it. I want to comment on about every line in this post because I was laughing the whole time I was reading. I love your pinterest pancakes, they really are cute! They remind of this thing I saw on FB, I will have to forward to you though. "A NASTY letter about how they purposefully made me feel fat, while I was eating my perfectly beautiful Pinterest pancakes)" is seriously quote worthy. I love you!

Darrell said...

Serious funny post. I hate to say it, but you get what you pay for. Ikea is cheap for a reason.