The Word With Perd

If you were the mold that probably lives on our ceiling or the one of ten million spiders that inhabits our apartment, you might have heard the following the past few months:

Ev - "Mom you're a princess. You can Princess Mom and I'll be Evie Jordan. And Bear can be Bear Jordan and Ket can be Ket Jordan."

***

I'm changing Ev's diaper and somehow a mound of Frosted Flakes has found its way into her pants.

Ev - "Mom I have Frosted Flakes in my poop."

Me - "Well they are just in your diaper now, but after you eat them your tummy takes all the nutrients and then you poop out what you don't need. So eventually there will be Frosted Flakes in your poop."

Ev - "Sinny! That's so funny!"

***

(Pretending to fall off her bike)

Ev -"Sinny! Its the emergencies! Help! I'm falling! Its the emergencies!"

***

(Me returning from running errands)

Ev - "Mom, you bring something for me?"

Me - "Um, yeah but its not very exciting. I got you some pants from Target for $3."

Ev - "Mom! They have polka dots! This is so exciting! I love my pants from Target for $3!"

Me - "Okay Ev I'm going to drop off the laundry."

Ev - "Look! Polka dots! Goodbye polka dots and mommy and clothes!"

***

Ev - "Can I have a Rolo?"

Me - "No you may not."

Ev - "Aww man! I can't believe it!"

***

Ev - "Oh no! I spilled! Sorry milk...Hey Sydney, I spilled. Clean it up!"

***

Ev - "Somebody's poopy."

Me - "Who is it?"

Ev - "Me."

(Ten minutes later)

Ev - "Somebody needs their friends."

Me - "Who?"

Ev - "Me."

(5 minutes later)

Ev - "Somebody burped."

Me - "Who?"

Ev - "Me."

(Thirty seconds later)

Ev - "Somebody spilled."

Me - "Was it you?"

Ev - "Yeah... Hey Sydney! Somebody spilled again."

Ev - "Mom, I just love my coat."

Me - "I love it too! Did you know Grandma gave it to you?"

Ev - "Yeah... Hey mom, I really love your coat on you."

Me - "Thanks Ev."

***

(Driving in the car)

Ev - "Hey mom, did you make a cinnamon roll for me?"

Me - "Yes I did."

Ev - "Yay! I just can't wait to get home and see my cinnamon roll."

(Walking in the door)

Ev - "Hello cinnamon roll! I'm going to eat you!"

(While I'm cutting it up)

Ev - "Hey Sinny, watch out for those sticky pieces."

Ev - "Mom can I drink this?"

Me - "Sure."

Ev - "Hey Sinny, thanks for sharing."

Me - "You're welcome."

***

(Grabbing at my drink at dinner)

Me - "Ev! You don't grab other people's food or drinks, especially since you have your own and it's the same thing mom has."

Ev - "No, you listen to me. I'm going to have a little sip and give it back."

(Pointing to an imaginary tree in our house)

Ev - "Mom! My kitty is up in a tree! Help me get it!"

***

(While changing Ev's diaper)

Me - "Oh my goodness, a piece of poop literally flew out of your pants."

Ev - "Mom! Its the emergencies!"

***

Me - "Ev, what's your favorite food?"

Ev - "Uhhh, cinnamon roll, watermelon, sprinkles, toast aaaaaand cupcakes!"

***

(While doing Jillian Michaels together)

Me - "Ev, don't give up! You can do it!" (While doing jumping jacks)

Ev - "This is fun!" 

(Does two jumping jacks)

Ev - "Whew! I'm tired! Its too hard."

(A few minutes later, I'm huffing and puffing)

Ev - "Mom! Don't get up! You can do it!"

(While reading scriptures)

Me - "Ev, who is this?"

Ev - "Jesus."

Me - "Who is that?"

Ev - "John the Bad guy."

Me - "No, its John the Baptist."

Ev - "John the Bad guy?"

Me - "John the Baptist."

Ev - "Oh."

As you can see, its NEVER a dull moment in Jordanville.