Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Real Rocky

I can't help but notice the similarities between the "Rocky Pose" and Evie's favorite sleeping position.



Sometimes its the full fledged Rocky.



Sometimes its the more subtle one-armed lounging Rocky.



Sometimes its the Daddy-Daughter tag-team Rocky when they each take a side.



Sometimes they take the same side for the double whammy Rocky.



Sometimes its the semi-Rocky with the arms only halfway extended. (used on opponents who can't handle full intimidation tactics.)



Sometimes its the full body Rocky stretch.



No matter what variation of the Rocky Pose, if Evie is sleeping, you will definitely find her in one of them. Even if you wrap her in a swaddler with velcro traps, she will find a way to strike it with style.



Its possible she learned it from me, because I'm that awesome, ya?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

E is for Evie ... or Epidural



I used to get mad at people who had babies and didn't immediately share their tender birth stories as their child was exiting the womb. I mean seriously? As a faithful reader of blogs A-Z, I always figured it was my right to know what was going down on the other side of the blog page. But, now that I have experienced my own version of child birth, I guess I will cut some of you people some slack if you cut me some. Sure I've been up consistently throughout the past couple nights of Evie's life, but I now realize that being "awake" does not necessarily ensue consciousness. That said, here is Snickerdoodle's birth story.



On Friday, Patti and my Mom scheduled me a pregnancy massage to combat the edema in my feet and ankles. I went in to the spa and the woman told me that she could definitely help me relax, get rid of the swelling in my feet, AND possibly induce labor by applying pressure to certain parts of my ankle and thumb. The massage was amazing and I left feeling relaxed and looking less swollen. That night I was slightly crampy (I had been for over a week since I was dilated 1-2 and effaced 50%) but I thought nothing special would unravel save my bi-hourly dates with TUMS and the toilet.

At three AM I started feeling contractions, but refused to believe they were real. So I did not tell my husband. That was the first stupid thing I did that day. Finally at a little after five, my contractions were very regular and I was in a lot of pain. What's a girl to do? Take a shower of course. I tried to quietly slip into the bathroom, turn on the rushing water, and bathe my rotund figure without disrupting my husband. Before I could even get in, Nick was behind me looking stern and slightly concerned that his wife was either in labor or secretly hoping to turn the shower into a natural habitat for endangered whales.

I'm the worst liar ever, so my scam about the whole whale habitat thing was brutally rebuffed. Anyway, Nick like the prepared Daddy-to-be he is, busted out his watch and began timing my contractions. Me, like the Mom-of-the-Year I'm destined to become, grabbed my laptop, assumed the fetal position in bed, and popped in Country Strong, since I'd been dying to see it for weeks. Before the movie was even over I knew that I would be making some type of trip to the hospital that day. I called my mom (who was in Portland, helping my sister with the kiddos) and told her she should probably come home soon. However, the battery conveniently died on her car and she was forced to desperately try and find an open Lexus dealership so that she could get it fixed and come help me. Finally at a little after 10:00 in the morning I called my mom asking her if I should go to the hospital. My contractions were strong, lasting a good minute or more, but they were quite irregular. Some every two minutes, some every five, some every seven or so. My mom suggested we go to the hospital, so by 10:30 we were out the door and on our way.

By the time we got to the front desk, I could not even talk during contractions and I think the lady feared for her life when she asked me for my name, birthday, insurance card, etc. I refused a wheelchair (I really thought I had plenty of time before our Snickerdoodle arrived) and we walked to the elevator and all around the 4th floor until they could get me in an exam room. The nurse got me on the table and began to say that they send about 50% of people home because they come to the hospital too early.

$%&*@*&@*$&@*$&@!!!!!!!!!!!!

If this lady tried to tell me to go home, I probably would have strangled her. Disturbing, but true. Well she examined me, gave Nick a weird look and said, "Honey, you are definitely not going home tonight - your cervix is an eight. We need to get you in a delivery room as soon as possible."

@*&^$*@(*@##(***#@^$%@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, can I go home now? I'm not ready to have a baby! I was seriously thinking all of those things when the biggest contraction yet hit and the sweet nurse told me it was still possible to have an epidural as long as the anesthesiologist could get there in time. At this point, we'd only been at the hospital for about forty minutes and I thought it would still be hours until Snickerdoodle would make her grand entrance.

Less than an hour after my epidural, I was told to push.
*I think this is where I should insert a blurb about my hubby. What a coach! We planned on him just holding my hand and viewing Evie's first seconds of life from the same angle as me. But when the doctor asked Nick to grab my leg and help with the delivery, he rose to the challenge. It was actually refreshing to see a familiar face among the nurses, doctor, and observing medical student. (TRUE STORY: A medical student asked to observe the birth of our daughter for part of his in hospital training. Since he asked me mid-contraction when I was dilated to a 9, waiting for my epidural to kick in, I said yes. He actually turned out to be a nice guy and a pretty good assistant coach). Anyway, Nick was incredible, as he always is with the all the difficult things we've experienced together. He just knows how to handle the Kardashian in me and he's probably the only person in the world willing to accept my drama as an important part of his daily life.

Back to the story, which for such a quick delivery, has turned into an extremely long blog post.
After 15-20 minutes of pushing and less than four hours at the hospital, Evelyn Kate was here!
The world's first perfect Snickerdoodle!

I won't share too many of my deep personal thoughts, but I will say this. I feel so incredibly blessed that we have healthy child. Since Keith has been diagnosed with cancer, I have witnessed the strength that it takes to face the challenges of having a sick child and I am amazed more than ever that my sister and her husband do it all. Evelyn sneezes and I have get up in her face and make sure that everything is okay. How do you deal with the worry and stress for all your life? Sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep because I know I won't be able to listen to her breathe. It is humbling to know that God gave me someone so perfect to look after knowing that I would make a thousand mistakes while doing so. That said, I don't know how you could ever witness or experience birth and not believe that God exists. I feel so grateful to have experienced something so special with Nick.

I also want to share this. I haven't told my mom this, but right before Evie was born. Literally, like ten seconds before she came out, I felt an unbelievable sense of gratitude for my mom. I felt like I actually understood her in a way that I have never understood her before. You really don't know, until you know, kind of thing I guess. And I kept thinking how Evelyn won't know, until she knows. It was just a strange feeling for me to be thinking so much about my own mom when I became a mother a myself.


(I think a Grandma She-She/Evelyn photo is a must here.)

So that's Evie's story. If you can't tell, I'm truly obsessed with her. She is the world's best snuggle buddy, her skin feels like butter, and her smell is intoxicating - my new top three things to look for in a best friend. Nick and I feel blessed to just be in her presence on a daily basis. I mean that. Its currently 6:18 AM and I haven't slept all night and Evie has gotten up to eat every hour and even though she won't sleep at night unless Nick or I hold her, I feel like the luckiest gal in the world. Which is pretty impressive since Evie is in my left arm and Nick is cuddling up to me on my right arm and the two of them are having a Daddy-Daughter Snore War. (Nick is winning but I have a feeling Ev's a fourth quarter kind of girl, and the night is not yet over!)

Okay to prove my proclaimed obsession, here is an overload of pics:



Coming home.


Me, looking fabulously swollen.


Aunt Darel decorated for Ev's homecoming.


Best buds.


High fashion. Cheetah is always in style.


World's best dad.


First smile captured on camera.


My snuggle buddy.

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Art of Snoring

Snoring. Women think it's rude and annoying, men claim it as their symbol of testosterone. Bluntly speaking, women don't see the value in what we as men of the house do for them and their loved ones by perfecting the art snoring. Those of us who proudly snore serve two purposes: 1) we sooth some and 2) we protect everyone.

I firmly believe there are those out there who truly enjoy a good rumbling from the nostrils, but I can’t statistically show that. If anyone can help in proving this statement please come forward now. Moving on to purpose number two and this is where the meat of this debate really lies. Snoring ultimately protects the household. Question: What person in their right mind would climb into a den when they can clearly hear a bear snoring inside? Next question: What person in their right mind would climb into my house when they can clearly hear my deep, manly, intimidating roaring? Point made.

It is fact that we as humans are products of our environment, so it should come as no surprise to hear that my talented and gorgeous daughter is an exact replica of what surrounded her for the past nine months. Evelyn Kate Jordan was born on April 16th at 3:08pm and by 9pm she was showing us all just how much she loved hearing my melodic scales of snoring, by providing us with her own rendition of the purest snoring I have heard in my life. What follows in the video below is what I call “Evie’s Second Symphony in D Major.” Enjoy.

video

Turns out it only happened that one night and she only did it because she still hadn’t cleared her lungs fully and she was still trying to cope with the drastic change from living in the womb and moving into the outside world. Still, snoring has its many uses...just ask Syd.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Welcome Snickerdoodle!

Evelyn Kate Jordan
Born Saturday April 16, 2011 at 3:08 PM.
7 pounds 9 ounces, 20 inches long.
We love our little Evie!







Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Majestic Blue Whale

The blue whale is the largest animal ever known to have existed. These majestic mammals of the sea were once abundant in all oceans on Earth; until the twentieth century when they became hunted to near extinction. However, some blue whales have been able to conquer the troubles associated with weighing over 180 metric tons by surviving in our contemporary world.

The point I'm trying to make here: I AM NATURE'S GREATEST MIRACLE. I AM THE MAJESTIC BLUE WHALE.
Eat your heart out people. Cuz' you know that's all I've been doing the past nine months.
Swollen has reached a new definition in my vocabulary and I'm more ready than ever to deliver this baby.
(And hopefully get rid of the elephantiasis in my feet)







Monday, April 4, 2011

I Have the Best Friends Ever

This is Lauren, my soul sister.
Laur is detail oriented, crafty, and fashionable, which pretty much explains the whole soul sister thing.



In true "Lauren Fashion," Laur organized perhaps the cutest idea I've ever heard of: A Baby Shower through the mail. Since moving from Utah, I've really missed all my friends. I've especially missed being able to discuss baby stuff with all of them. Well, Laur being the detail oriented, crafty, and fashionable gal that she is, got ahold of all my P-town pals and sent me this:



Its beautiful, I know. And it looks so cute all set up in our car!
I feel so blessed to have such thoughtful friends. Thank you all! You are amazing! Plus in addition to being incredibly sincere and thoughtful, I pride myself on having the hottest friends ever. Seriously, check out these babes:

Mary Beary. It was love at first sight when we met each other, the rest is history. To understand the history, just check out our 57 albums on facebook just full of pictures of one another - now that is love.


One time Kiley and I dated because Mary had a super hot boyfriend. It was one of my better college semesters. Kiley also gives me a run for my money when it comes to clumsy accidents. We've both had our fair share of embarrassing moments, usually when we are together.


Here is the three of us since we are kind of a packaged deal.


Arleene is the only person who loves cupcakes, Audrey Hepburn, and Paris decor as much as I do. When she worked at Sweet Tooth Fairy, she helped me gain 5 pounds by bringing me cupcakes every other day - now that is friendship.


Heather is the only person who doesn't judge me for watching 16 and Pregnant or Teen Mom. In fact, she usually watches it with me, which makes her one of my favorite people ever. Our husbands play intramural sports together/get in fights together, so we both know what its like to be embarrassed when our husbands fight people.


I wish I had a more "candid" picture of Kate and I. No one does "candid" like us. If you don't know Kate, she is hilarious. Whenever I want to laugh, I read her blog. How she comes up with some of her posts is a mystery to me - one hilarious mystery.


I love Whitney. Nick and Whitney's husband, Travis, fell in love and I knew that our future date nights with them would be nothing short of amazing. They often include eating until we are sick or just eating. Whitney is also my movie-goer pal. Nick and I have seen more movies with Whit and Trav then anybody else.


Monica is my "Lets-talk-about-gross-and-personal-topics-because-we-love-and-understand-each-other-friend." Seriously, there is not a topic we haven't discussed together. I'm never embarrassed to tell her anything because I know she will just get it. Plus when I was on study abroad with her, she fed me constantly because she always had an entire english cucumber and jar of nutella in her purse.


Ohhhhhh Jenn. Your husband always complains that I've contaminated you and brought you to the dark side of my shopping habits, but I can honestly say you are my favorite shopping partner. We've taken more nasty pictures together than any two people I know, we've slept in a twin bed together to avoid hypothermia, and we've suffered in Europe together. I think I can safely say our friendship will stand the test of time.


Lauren and I got married on the same day, in the same temple. One month later, we realized we were in the same married student ward. Since then we have bonded over cuisine, yoga, and America's Next Top Model. She is the most amazing cook I know and when I need a new tasty recipe, she is my girl.


Chelsea is technically my sister-in-law, but I often leave out the "in-law" part because she feels mostly like my sister. When I was pregnant and craving Subway everyday, Chels was the only person who would go with me every time. Plus she's my good luck charm - when shopping the Anthro sale racks, I always find something magical when I'm with her.


Here is one more of Lauren, the party planner, for good measure.


What I'm trying to say is, friends - I love you! Thank you so much for thinking of Nick and I, even though we are so far away! I miss you all like crazy, but don't worry, we'll come back to Utah with baby snickerdoodle. I can't wait to show you all my baby!