Friday, December 2, 2011

Flashback Friday: Bad Family Photos Part One

We all take them. There is no shame in admitting that horrible family photos are part of your past and most likely future, if you are the Smart family.
This is part one of let's say, an infinite part series, of bad Smart family photos.

And who doesn't love a cheesy Christmas card photo?

As a chubby prepubescent girl of about 12, my mom should have saved me the embarrassment and told me "NO," when I asked her if I could borrow the sister to her heinous Christmas sweater. Mom, I'm totally blaming you for my lack of friends in middle school. Granted, my "tattoo" necklace from Claire's and awesomely bad hairstyle aren't doing me any favors either, but STILL! Help a daughter out...

Lil' D however, would be quite adorable in her awkward Christmas sweater if it weren't for the super distracting polar bear headband with faux santa hat and jingle bells. Was this before or after we went caroling to Sister Byree's?

Disclaimer: Sister Byree is a sweet old woman my dad home taught for a gazillion years. She was blind and deaf, but every year at Christmas we would pack our suburban dressed in HIDEOUS christmas hats and headbands and go caroling to her house. My dad always said we were going to bring some holiday cheer to Sister Byree, but I know that deep down, he just wanted to bust his harmonica in the vicinity of someone who was nearly completely deaf.

Speaking of Clark Griswald, ahem, I mean my dad, how come he is the only person that gets to dress like a normal human being in this picture? It's quite misleading...
Does this seem normal to you?

Growing up Griswald does have it's perks though - we always had the "hap, hap happiest" Christmas of any family I knew.

Back to our bad family photo. Let's focus on Shea for a sec. I don't blame him for his scared/awkward expression. I might have made that face too if I was forced to wear yet another UnionBay sweater for family pictures.

And Chels and Darc! Kim and Kourt would be so disappointed in your lack of originality in choice of ugly Christmas sweaters. The Kardashians would however, approve of your slightly matching manly haircuts. Tucked behind both ears and flipped out with a 2-inch curling iron? Nice work guys!

And Mom. Its hard to poke fun at such a beautiful woman, but the Christmas sweater is too much. I'm pretty sure it has a switch that turns the Christmas lights around the collar on and off. I'm pretty sure I saw an episode of What Not to Wear where Stacy and Clinton outlawed those forever.

The worst part of this photo?

We actually used it for our Christmas card. We sent it out to seventy-five friends and relatives exclaiming, "Look how weird and ugly the Smarts got this year!"
I'm sure people especially looked at me and thought, "Who is that? Is she 40 or 12? Poor thing." And I say "thing," because most people probably weren't sure if I was a man or woman, boy or girl. Hey, I can't blame them can I?

Unfortunately, you can't look at a really bad family photo and know how totally awesome the people in it are. Unless you are focusing on me, then you would have a clear indication of how "awesome" I was.

Luckily the Griswald's/Smart's have been through enough together that the heinous family photos seem not so bad after all.

I hope you all have the "hap, hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny-bleeping-Kaye!"


Sam said...

HAHA, Sydney, this got me good. "Look how weird and ugly the Smarts got this year!" And who didn't have one of those tattoo necklaces?!? I felt so pretty when I wore mine.

The Davis Family said...

Oh my gosh, that picture is so NOT bad compared to some of our Dalby family photos from the past. We once sent out a photo of us posing in front of the janitors closet at the church... and I think your mom and my mom shared the same Christmas sweaters. You are hilarious!

sheila said...

You are banned from entering the attic when you are home for Christmas!! Although, I hope we get to watch Christmas Vacation together. Hurry and get here with that lucious child of yours!

Jesica and Chris Fowler said...

I think that pic is so cute!!!! I love the old smarty photos!!!!! Keep the flashbacks comin :)

Darrell said...

pretty funny post. I don't even like wearing sweaters--they make me "sweat." your mother made me wear a sweater so we would all match. I don't get it. your post is proof that most forms of mental illness and insanity is created by strong family bonds.

chelsea said...

Even if D and I look like men, at least we didn't spend our ENTIRE adolescence with that tattoo necklace. I am pretty sure mom is also wearing those sparkling Christmas tree earrings!