Flashback Friday: Springbreakers

Yes, I am aware that today is Saturday, not Friday.

But this is my blog, so I'll do what I want!

Plus its been eons since my last FF and I know everybody has missed nasty pictures of me and those I've chosen to blackmail. 

Has anyone seen the previews for the movie Springbreakers?

Here's the deal:

- Does anyone know what the heck the movie is about? All I really get from the trailer is that its a lot of neon swimsuits, guns, and James Franco's grill.

- Vanessa Hudgens, please stop making movies. No one will ever see you as anything but Gabriella of High School Musical. You peaked at Troy Bolton girl. Also, you dress like a homeless hippie who doesn't wear underwear, so I guess a neon bikini is a step up?

- Ashley Benson, I kind of love you on Pretty Little Liars, but I realized after seeing the trailer that you are a one-note actress who probably just plays herself in every movie (IE: Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Anniston, Vince Vaughn)

- Selena Gomez, you are supposed to make JB feel like a moron for letting you go! Why, why why do you think this movie will accomplish this? JB's gonna see this and believe that you're the one missing out and that his crotch pants are actually attractive. 

- Other slutty girl, never heard of you.

- James Franco, I want to see this movie because your grill and cornrows are legitimately inspiring and I'm sort of feeling like I might have missed out on Spring Break my whole life by not throwing away my life, landing in jail and scandalizing it up in Miami. 

Also, this movie got a 73% on Rotten Tomatoes. I was fully expecting it to get HORRIBLE reviews, but it got pretty good ones. I'm going to have to resist seeing it in the theaters and wait until its on Netflix to watch it. (I'll be totally honest, its going to take a lot of will power) 

And its not like I haven't had crazy Spring Breaks before, because I have.

Growing up, we often took road trips to the Oregon Coast for Spring Break.

We always stayed at the luxurious Shiloh Inn (they had a hot tub!) and we spent the week flying kites and eating Clam Chowder (which I actually hate). But now that I think about it, the concierge looked a lot like Spring Breakers James Franco. 

And why is it that Spring Break always requires a windbreaker or three?

Exhibit A:

Sweet windbreaker Chels.

Too bad its not as cool as my windbreaker sweatsuit. Also, the best thing about this windbreaker sweat thing is that it wasn't originally mine. And perhaps even more interesting, is that I can't remember who gave it to me. Darc? Chels? I don't even know, but one thing I know for sure is that whoever gave it to me probably hated me ... A LOT. I mean look at me. Clearly, my double chin and hairstyle gave people reason enough to make fun, but throw in an aqua windbreaker sweatsuit and I can't even be mad that I didn't have friends.

Perhaps the best Spring Break we ever had was our trip to Victoria, BC. We splurged and stayed in the Empress for a few nights, enjoyed the Wax Museum and a bunch of other stuff I can't really remember.

What I do remember quite clearly though, is my front-flapped jeans.

Exhibit B:

Guys, I loved these jeans. Like LOVED them. Wore them almost everyday for several years. And the best part is that I grew four inches in those couple years, but my weight and jean size stayed the same. Gotta love the pre-pubescent fat stage. I will say that I deserve points for wearing some form of a bra (most likely a sports bra). Sure my shirt is a little shorty-fatty, but at least the mosquito bites are under wraps. And the half ponytail? Workin' it.

Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that I was made for Spring Break.

Scandals, string bikinis, the strip? 

Obviously those things were made for me. 

I bet you can't guess what I'm doing with my husband and almost two-year old this Spring Break.

It would make James Franco proud.

Batman's Birthday

We are sick.

Ev has bronchiolitis. 

Nick and I have nasty colds.

Its been a long couple weeks, but I think we are on the up (hopefully).

I feel bad I never posted pics from Nick's "Batman Party."

Every year Nick threatens me about not throwing him a birthday party.

And every year I roll my eyes - because I know him well enough to know that he would hate a party in his honor. And like a good spouse, I've never thrown him a big party.

However, I can't do nothing, that would be ... lame (and probably what Nick would love).

So Ev and I made a poster and we bought Nick a mask.

And the Batman party began.

Like the true domestic goddess that I am, I outsourced Nick's cake. My friend Jessica is incredibly talented and she made this! (She even made funfetti cake and frosting since Nick won't have anything else on his birthday)

Can I get a fist pump for this amazing cake? And my amazing friends?

Batman and his cake.

Our poster.

Funfetti!

Nick requested something to go with homemade rolls for dinner. I suggested "Sunday Dinner," which in our family means a roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, etc. (you know, typical Mormon Sundayness)

In my family growing up, you got to pick dinner when it was your birthday. I always picked the same thing (Ina Garten's Five Cheese Penne), as did everyone else (Darel - Chinese, Shea - Filet Mignon, Dad - Mom's chocolate cheesecake, etc), but Nick always seems to pick something different, or in true Nick fashion, leave it up to me to decide. 

I hate deciding what to make for dinner. I love to cook, but just tell me what you want to eat because sometimes it gives me a headache trying to think about what people might like. I know what I want, but its not always what others want, so I get mildly stressed making such trivial decisions.

Anyway, since it was Nick's birthday, I didn't push him too hard about what he wanted and just went with "Sunday Dinner," except it was a Tuesday. 

I even canceled my RS meeting, so we had the whole night to spend as a family. Since it was a school night, we stayed home, but I had planned a night out on the town that weekend. However, Nick ended up going to California for the weekend kind of last minute, so we had to cancel our date plans. Luckily, when I drove him up to the airport to catch his flight, my sister watched Ev so Nick and I could go to dinner. We went to the Lake Oswego Grill and it was tasty. Nick got Mahi Mahi and I got a pecan veggie burger. We were both satisfied and I even got Nick to try my veggie burger and he liked it! 

And we took no pictures - yay, us.

We've actually had quite a bit going on lately, but with being sick, I haven't felt like documenting anything. I've been tired and lazy. Then I received numerous death threats from family members about a lack of pictures of Ev, so I decided to blog. 

Except this post is about Nick, not Ev, so ...

A few weeks ago we went to the Portland Children's Museum with Darc and her kids, plus Caden (Burnett cousin). Nick was even able to come with us!

Unfortunately we only took pictures on our phones, but the kids had such a fun time.

We did face painting and here's what the kids requested:

Ally: "Um, make me a hello kitty."

Cole: "Can you make me look like the Joker?"

Caden and Evie: "No."

Ironically, my kid is a lover of cats.

It was a great day!

Hopefully when I'm feeling better I'll want to blog about what's really going on in our lives this second, but a warning to those who have sent death threats - don't hold your breath.

Confessions and Obsessions

Confession:

I do not remember my child ever looking like this.

Who is this adorable baby? 

Obsession:

Hello Kitty

Our world revolves around Hello Kitty. I recently bought Ev this stuffed Hello Kitty at Old Navy. She has slept with it every night since. When we go to the store, Hello Kitty rides in my purse. When we drive to Portland, Hello Kitty sits in the carseat. When we dine, Hello Kitty dines with us.

There is rarely a moment that Hello Kitty and Ev are not together.

She talks to and about Kitty all day. If she has a bow in her hair, she will point to Hello Kitty's bow and say, "Kitty, bow." Ev will take a bite of food and then politely offer Kitty some. Ev even volunteers Kitty to say the prayer at lunchtime. 

In addition to her actual Hello Kitty, Ev has copious amounts of Hello Kitty stickers and coloring books which get used everyday. When we draw, she always asks me to draw "kitties." 

Even more interesting, Ev would not eat fruit snacks until we were walking down the cereal aisle and she spied Hello Kitty fruit snacks. Now she pummels through a box of those babies a week.

Confession:

This is how we do road trips.

Ev watches movies on her personal DVD player. Her favorite movie to watch right now is "Puppies."

(101 Dalmatians)

Keith used to call that movie "Puppies," and when Ev pulled it out I called it that and the name has stuck. She asks to watch it constantly and on road trips she won't watch anything else. 

Obsession:

Dress-up.

Ev loves to dress up in hats, shoes and various other things (like the tutu pictured below).

She knows 4 colors (pink, orange, purple, blue), so she always picks things that are in a color she can say. "Pink skirt, blue shoe, purple napkin, etc"

Confession:

I hope these two get married.

They are such cute little friends. And by friends, I mean frenemies since Ev is such a bully to Will. They have a very Regina George-Gretchen Weiners relationship. Ev tells Will what to do and steals toys from him and Will secretly cries in the bathroom because he's too nice to take any toys back.

Obsession:

Magnets.

I made some shape magnets and then bought some animal ones at TJ Maxx, and Nick's mom sent us some fruits and vegetables. Ev loves to point to each magnet and say what it is. She hasn't quite grasped the concept of parallelogram, but we're working on it.

Confession:

These two are the cutest.

Since Nick doesn't see Ev as much as I do, after family prayer I leave Ev's room and Nick shuts the door and they read stories and play together. It's hilarious to stand by the door and listen to them. They play with flashlights and talk and wrestle.

It's the best.

Obsession:

Onion goggles.

Call me high maintenance, but I cannot cut an onion without these. I keep all my random kitchen gadgets in a drawer where Ev can play with them and she has really glommed onto these goggles. She wears them while eating a lot of the time and will even play in them.

Confession:

My kid eats at least 3 popsicles a day.

Obsession:

Geese.

We have a little pond by our apartment complex that we walk to a couple times a week. Ev chases the geese and steps in a heap load of poo. 

Confession:

This is my favorite Ev face.

Pouty sleepy lips - so lush!

Obsession:

Oranges.

This girl can pound oranges. She even eats the rind sometimes! She asks to eat oranges constantly, but I try to limit her to two a day or else I'm changing diarrhea poops five times a day.

Confession:

Every morning Nick is home (usually after playing basketball) he and Ev split a mango greek yogurt while watching ESPN highlights.

Clearly, my obsession is none other than the Evster. She is so much fun (and exhausting!) these days. We jump, play, bounce, sing, color, and make believe all day.

(No wonder I'm in bed by 10)