Sassafrass

Evelyn has reached a new level of personality.

I laugh all day long at the weird stuff she does.

That said, our time out chair is getting plenty of use these days. Its hard because I feel like I don't know how to be a mother to a toddler. With babies, you respond to their needs and wants, which for the most part are fairly clear. But I've learned that recently, even with a toddler who can communicate quite well, that I don't always know how to respond when my child bites me, or hits other children, or throws her cereal bowl on the floor in anger. I don't know how to help her when she gets easily frustrated at her inability to open something or figure out a puzzle. She often reaches a boiling point so quickly that I can't come up with a response fast enough to remedy the situation. Its also hard when you know what they want and you can't (or won't) give it to them. Candy at 8 AM, scissors, permanent markers, tube of mascara, etc. 

All of that said, I love being a mom to a toddler.

Its erratic, spontaneous, and sometimes frustrating, but I've never had so much fun. We do weird stuff all day - we take our wands and "Bibbity Bobbity Boo," the whole house, turning things to magic. We play hide and seek with her stuffed animals (its so amazing how we always find them!). We sing songs while launching princesses off the couch. We try on all of mom's shoes and then make kitties try them on too. And we jump and twirl and bounce and run all day. 

Of course all that fun stuff is riddled with some major sassafrass from the Evster, but its still a crazy good time. 

See what I mean?

Also, my house is a perpetual mess (and I don't really care).

She insists on wearing her crown like this.

She will then make me get a headband and do the same thing.

(Crowns and headbands are synonymous)

Aunt Chelsea came down to stay with us for a few days (and for her birthday!). We felt like all the Easter candy, basket finding, and egg hunting was a lot for one day, so we colored eggs a few days later.

Ev loved it and even took a few bites of some hard boiled egg.

"Yo ma, I'm gonna chuck this egg in some dye so it splatters all ova ya favorite rug. Love ya."

Best egg of the night - Chelsea's trendy, yet awesome ombre egg.

Birthday girl.

I just need to give a shout out to Chels for hanging with us on her most holy of days. Sadly, all the cool people were out of town, so she didn't really have a choice, but we really had so much fun with her. She was a good sport to hang with us when she really could have partied somewhere else.

PS Ev can now sing "Happy Birthday to You," and its adorable.

This girl has no fear!

A typical "not like a regular mom, but a cool mom" moment.

(I have a LOT of these)

Best friends!

Every mom (or dad, babysitter, nanny, etc) knows that silence is almost always a bad thing. Whenever it gets really quiet I know that one of two things is happening.

1) Ev is pooping in a corner somewhere

2) Or she's doing something sneaky

She is obsessed with my wallet. She will pull it out of my purse, find a nook and pull EVERYTHING out. (I bet you can't guess what she's getting for her birthday) 

Sadly/Amazingly, Ev knows which card is the Costco card. I let her show it to the person at the door and hand it to the person checking us out. She always holds it up and shouts, "Costco!"

She rules our roost and its completely my fault. 

Its hard to say no to the Queen of Sass, but I'm slowly learning to put my foot down and teach her manners. I sometimes feel bad for Ev because I'm making A LOT of mistakes here. I hope she can survive my parenting and grow up to be a happy well-adjusted girl.

As long as she's not pooping in the corner in twenty years, I'll chalk that up for a win.

Flashback Friday: March Madness vs. Fug Madness

The only thing that saves the month of March from being the absolute worst month ever is March Madness (at least for me). I love making a bracket knowing that it will be totally screwed after the first round. I love picking ridiculous upsets and then being terribly angry when my 15 seed couldn't pull off the win against a 2 seed. I love watching college basketball (NBA, not so much).
I picked Gonzaga to go all the way. You are probably laughing at me right now, but I love Gonzaga and if one of my teams is a #1 seed, I'm gonna put all my hard-boiled Easter eggs in their basketball hoop.
Luckily, there is even a remedy for my sorrows when the Zags get beat.
Its called Fug Madness.
gofugyourself.com is my favorite blog in the world. I know that's a bold statement, but its true. I mostly read blogs of people I know/a few people that need to be stalked. I have a strong dislike for amateur fashion bloggers. I feel like everyone out there thinks that because they can put together colored skinny jeans with a striped top and a trendy necklace that they are automatically stylish.

The answer is a resounding, "NO."

If you have a cute outfit on and you can't resist putting it on the blog, that's awesome. You probably look adorable. But being adorable does not make you a fashionista and I just don't want to waste my time reading where you bought your clothes. (And I'm not saying I'm a fashionista, but you won't ever see me posting model shots with where I bought my clothes in italics underneath the pictures) Again, if you do that, I still like you and I'm not judging, its just not particularly interesting to me. No need to feel bad about yourself or to hate me - if that's what you want to blog about, go for it sister! (or brother)

The point is, I read what is interesting to me. My friends, family, a few randies that are just too cool to not stalk creepily.

Fug is the ultimate blog for me. Its witty, creative, wickedly hilarious, and chalk full of Mean Girls quotes. I laugh out loud every time I read it. Seriously.
Everything they say, I'm thinking in my head!

My sisters and mother often point out how sarcastically mean I can be. And its true. My humor often skates along the lines of inappropriate and rude, but I won't apologize. If I make fun of you, its because I like you. If I offend you, you are one of the lucky few who has won my loyal and affectionate love forever. And that is why I like Fug (because fugly is the new pretty!). It critiques celebrity fashion in the most brutally honest way.

Anyway, Fug does Fug Madness every year, which is like March Madness, but for the worst dressed (or fugliest) people in Hollywood. From Oscars to Oscars, celebs are voted on and if you are (un)lucky enough to make it to Fug Madness, then you get to be voted on. There are four brackets in honor of four of the most heinously dressed people in life - Madonna, Cher, Charo, and Bjork. Disgusting outfits from the past year are paired up against each other and you get to vote on who you think is the worst dressed. The winner advances to the next round. We're down to the Final Four and Justin Bieber (Bjork) is facing off against Rihanna (Charo) to advance to the finals. And its Rita Ora (Cher) vs. Kim Kardashian (Madonna) on the other side. Here's the printable bracket if you're interested. You can't vote for anything but the final four, but its incredibly entertaining.

Here are some of my recent favorite posts:
And for the record, I love JB and the Kardashians, but sometimes you gotta hurt the one you love. Its like not telling your best friend she has parsley in her teeth while having lunch with her. If you don't tell her, YOU ARE NOT HER FRIEND.
If I was your Fugfriend
Jolie-ly Jolied: Angelina Jolie
Fugging up with the Kardashians
Fug and Fines: Katching up with Kim's Kardashian's Maternity Wear
Well-Played Kate Middleton
Fugging Fug Fug the Fugfugdifugs

Unfortunately, I was left out of the Fug Madness Bracket this year. Not sure how that's possible, since this is the BEST/WORST picture ever.

I guess I just slipped through the cracks. Or maybe my picture got lost in one of the twelve chin rolls that happen to be in this picture. You decide.*

*A special thank you to my sister for being part of the best/worst picture ever.

And I meant to include this in a FF closer to Easter but alas, it did not happen. That, plus my life is not that interesting, is why I will never be a famous blogger. 

Anyway, here is a slew of incredibly bad Easter outfits, courtesy of the Real Kardashians. 

I bet you didn't know that Dorothy Hamill was a Kardashian.

Well she was ... for about six years.

I was going to try and keep my comments to a minimum, but Chelsea's hat makes that virtually impossible. Nothing says Easter Sunday like a classy straw hat. 

If you grew up in the 90's, I can guarantee you had a pair of the sandals I'm wearing. They were so comfortably stretchy and I think the soles were made of neoprene. 

I can also guarantee that you did not wear them with tights like I did.

Yikes.

Dorothy Hamill got a little angry when baby Dorothy Hamill came into the picture. At what age is it not cool to match your little sister in dress and haircut?

The sandals!

Introducing the Von Trappdashian family!

Nothing I can say about this picture is remotely kind or appropriate for this family blog.

Until next time...

Rockaway

For part of our Spring Break we rented a condo on the Oregon Coast with my cousin and his wife and my sister. We went to Rockaway and it was gorgeous. The weather was perfect and a fun time was had by all.

Why Ev has the coolest parents ever.

Why there is no denying how cool we really are.

Cool.

Cooler.

I'm working on another post about Ev's "friends." It has reached a state of creepy at our house with the sheer amount of stuffed animals. This is only a small portion of the "friends" we brought on our trip for Ev to sleep with.

Sweet Kylie! Look at that face!

We couldn't have asked for better March weather at the Oregon Coast. It was sunny and relatively warm. We played games at night and enjoyed the beach during the day.

On our way home we stopped by the Tillamook Cheese factory.

If you haven't been and live in the area, its definitely worth your time. You get to see how cheese is made and eat as many samples as you want!

I might have gone through the cheese line twice...

Plus they have ice cream and a beef jerky outlet. I'm not a big beef jerky fan, in fact the smell makes me want to hurl my lunch, but who doesn't love ice cream?

I also discovered that I might be mildly lactose intolerant. I guess nothing but dairy products will do that to you.